The Good Doctor
by SadameHime
Summary: Shepard did exactly what she intended to do: Destroy the Reapers. But much is left undone. The effort to rebuild will take every hand. There are debts left unpaid, lives too precious to be lost. We will give what we can, save all we can. Shepard did the hard work, and we must finish the rest.
1. Prologue

Paragon Shepard. Spacer. Sole Survivor. Infiltrator. Romanced Kaidan in ME1. Romanced to Garrus. Destroy ending with high readiness.

Otherwise, its party time. I've been playing with this idea for a few days now and I wanted to flesh it out, get some thoughts. I know that Daddy Shepard is presumed dead, but hey.

Spoilers for 3.

* * *

_The bright lights of the Citadel hurt her eyes. Little Alice Shepard had never seen anything like it, but her daddy had. She was being held in his arms, daddy's little soldier holding on tight to her favorite doctor. Her mother was guiding the ship in to be docked, and Shepard stared at the station with uncertainty. He closed his arms around her a little more to reassure the child. She had seen so much in her short life, but places like the Citadel were new to them all._

"_Didn't you get those scars last time you were there, daddy?"_

_Alan Shepard proudly wore a three pronged scar across the right side of his face. Two of the slashes began just underneath his eye, and the other dragged at his jaw. As the story went, he had a nice rumble with a Turian C-Sec officer. No one ever talked about how or why, but they liked to say it was an even fight, and that Alan Shepard fought pretty damn well for a doctor. There was talk that he could get rid of the scarring fairly easily, but serving on a military vessel taught him the value of such things. Most of those that served on his wife's crew had lived through the First Contact War, and they respected a man that fist fights a Turian and gets out with just a scar._

"_I sure did," He answered quietly. "We're going on shore leave, and when we're there... We'll get you something nice to play with during all of the moving around, Princess."_

"_Can I get a new practice rifle, daddy? The gunnery officer said he'd show me how to snipe!" _

_His daughter's enthusiasm made him chuckle. She was her mother's child through and through._

"_You'll have to talk to your mother about that."_

_The heavy steps of her mother's boots clanked through the starboard observation deck, and Hannah Shepard came in beside her husband and child. She always wore a bright smile, and she taught her child to have faith. Perhaps there hadn't been a better mother to be born to, or a better person to inherit one's qualities from._

"_Asking for a rifle again, sweetie?"_

" '_Course she is. Six generations of soldiers on your side, its no wonder she wants a gun."_

"_Gone are the days where little girls ask for ponies, Alan," Hannah said softly, leaning against the windows.  
_

_She was ready to be with her family._

* * *

The influx of volunteers in the fight against the Reapers on Earth had been staggering. The Good Doctor hadn't expected it, but he knew Alice Shepard's potential better than most. He saw the wreckage, the absence of all synthetic life, the damaged relays. They would have to work night and day to be able to move through them again, but the engineers aboard his vessels were ready.

His research cruisers had been filled to the brim with volunteers from the few safe havens left in the galaxy a day before the final fight broke out, and by the time they reached the Charon Relay, moving in stealth mode, they received the calls that the war had been won. He had moved the group out at the right time, and the mix of relief and fear upon the vessel let him know he had picked the right people.

The last message they received from the Alliance stated that several of those aboard the Normandy had been critically wounded. Family of some of those men and women had come aboard his vessel, and the diversity of his passengers was staggering to the Good Doctor. He watched them pass by the window of his med-bay, Turians, humans, Asari. He had never seen such a group of men and women ready to find those they loved.

Only two ships had gotten through the Charon relay before the signal went out. They could not maintain communications at such a distance, but those that got through knew their mission. The signal that destroyed the Reapers meant the Crucible had worked. Those that made it through had only one mission: To aid the survivors on Earth and search for Commander Shepard. Three more of the vessels that chose to follow him went to work immediately on the Relay.

He moved to the central control station of his own vessel, where he was met by several of those that had volunteered. He wore a Quarian environmental mask that confused and puzzled nearly everyone he met, but he liked to hide his face. There was no reason for anyone to know his real name or who he really was when he had the ability to get them back to their families and their loved ones. Every person who had joined him had no motivations beyond that.

A Former C-Sec agent and his daughter stood near the galactic map, their focus on earth as one of the Good Doctor's officers listened to a distress call coming in from a nearby planet. She kept it to herself for now and spoke silently as the Doctor joined the two turians looking over the map.

"It will be hard work, but we'll get through. A lot of ships must have gotten away before Commander Shepard activated the Crucible. We'll find the people we're looking for one way or another. It will take time, but everyone has a job they can do to get it done." He reassured them.

The mandibles of the elder turian flared, the blue and almost simple colony mark he carried shifting in the motion, " As long as we find out what happened to my son."

"No doubt he is safe. The Commander isn't quick to let her crew members die. She'd give her life first."

"You talk like you know her, "The female commented.

She only earned a laugh from the Good Doctor, reverberating through the breather of his mask," A long time ago, I did. Can't say she was- or is- the same as she was when I knew her."

Vague enough to mean anything. He knew his words were those carrying many meanings, but he meant them. He had known the woman once, and he missed her. There were many in the galaxy that would miss her if she perished out there on the Citadel.

"Doctor, the distress signal that's coming through... Its from the Normandy. The ship got thrown from the Relay's Mass Effect field and crashed on a nearby planet. Orders? What do I tell them?" The Asari communications officer looked at him with hopeful eyes.

Disali had known Liara T'soni when they were children. He questioned her eagerness to join over such a simple connection, but he never understood Asari. The turians he had been speaking to perked noticeably at her words, and the Good Doctor let out a deep sigh.

"Tell them we'll send a small group. Have a damage report ready for us before we go down."


	2. Chapter 1: The Normandy

_**I imagine turians as space Romans. Couldn't resist naming Garrus' daddy Aurelius. :/ Also, thank you very much to my reviewers and those that put the story on alert. I figured I'd put in another update quickly since the prologue got a few thoughts. **_

* * *

**Chapter 1 The Normandy**

The turians he conversed with over the galactic map had been with him since Palaven. He'd gone at the first chance he could to aid in evacuation efforts, and they were among the few left who were trying to get off world. He found the girl with a broken leg, Solana was her name. The C-Sec officer he had known in the distant past was her father and he recalled that his name was Aurelius Vakarian, a grand sounding Turian by all means. They were glad to see the vessel the Good Doctor had brought with him, as there were no more turian vessels leaving the surfaces of their home world for evacuations. They had lied to the gunnery chief on the SSV Normandy to quiet his worry, the doctor later learned, and the two were eager to volunteer when the doctor announced his plan to help in reconstruction efforts and took care of Solana's leg. It just so happened that they were not on the vessel that made it through to the Sol system, and they would be able to do what they came to do.

They were mostly there to find someone they likely hadn't seen much in the last three years. The Doctor knew the desire to hang onto what you had left, and the old turian had only his children left. He had heard them chatter about the passing of the Elder Vakarian's mate, and in the midst of everything, a natural death for her must have felt peculiar. War claimed many turian lives, but not hers. Some would have considered her lucky to die to disease, and not to Reapers.

They joined him on the elevator to prepare for the trip down to visit the Normandy, and the doctor's thoughts drifted to what awaited them in the shuttle deck. The shuttle pilot waiting for them was Quarian. He called himself Tan'Keyell. He never named his original ship, but the Doctor knew the man had been on pilgrimage when he volunteered to come along. He seemed to distrust the purpose of the vessels, especially after Cerberus' involvement with the Migrant Fleet, but his choice reflected he was willing to try. His hesitance was surely rooted in the Good Doctor's chosen appearance. There must have been some kind of taboo against outsiders making use of their helmets.

"What is your stake in this, doctor? what do you stand to gain?" Aurelius asked as the elevator stopped at the shuttle bay.

"Peace of mind. I choose to do what I can to help because I have never done much worth while, and I owe it to many people.." The doctor adjusted his mask as he stepped out, the two turians following behind him.

"What did you do before organizing all of this?" their curiosity was unending. He smiled behind his mask as the female now questioned him.

"I've always been a doctor. The only thing that's changed is my focus. Before you ask, I started purchasing ships for this endeavor after the first attack on the Citadel by Saren."

"So you believed her from the beginning?" Solana inquired again.

A slight humming sort of noise came through the omni-tool, trying to translate the sub vocal sound the Elder Vakarian made, and the Doctor assumed he was putting his support behind the question. He hated how Turians could get away with such chatter between one another that no tool could interpret.

"I did. I saw Sovereign when it attacked the Citadel. I was there in the middle of all of it. I could not believe it was an isolated incident. I'm no damn good in a fire fight, so I holed myself up at Huerta Memorial and helped out with the wounded that were evacuated from the fights."

"I see." She hummed.

"I haven't used my real name in a long time. Can't imagine they liked a nameless, faceless doctor working on their people but I saved lives."

Their conversation fell short as they were greeted by the volunteers who wanted to help repair the Normandy. Only one smiling face that waited was not human, an Asari whose face the Good Doctor didn't recognize.

"I see a wiring specialist and a drive core specialist I remember picking up on Illium before things went to hell out there. Can I have a name and specialty, Asari?" The doctor asked.

"Remila is my name. I can help repair the hull. My hands are steady and I am prepared."

Her pale purple skin shone with a peculiar blush. She was a nervous one, a young one. He briefly recalled her name, one of the few volunteers that came without direct ties to anyone mentioned. Remila looked eager to please with her work, and he knew people like her would be invaluable in the days to come. Anyone eager to do the kind of repair work that would be needed to get the galaxy running business as usual would be sorely needed.

"Good enough for me. Let's get everyone on board and head planet side. I'll lend an extra pair of hands to Doctor Chakwas, and the three of you can help with the repairs. These two Turians are here for family, but I'm sure they will have something they can do when the air is cleared."

The volunteers just nodded and took his words to heart. They didn't have to see his face to believe him, or to feel his insistence and belief in what they were setting out to do. The Doctor knew they wouldn't be there if they didn't want to do this work, to take care of the people that would need aid. He went to the safe worlds and stations asking for them. They answered. They continued to listen.

As one, the group moved aboard the shuttle Tan'Keyell had already prepared to leave the ship. There was more space in there than those around The Good Doctor seemed to expect. He smiled knowingly under his mask, and he was glad for the assets he had managed to procure. So long as no one ever asked him where he got them.

The ride down into the atmosphere of the planet was not smooth. The shuttle hit turbulence as it. Passed through, clouds parting all around them once they broke the first layer. When the wreckage of the Normandy came into view from the front windows of the shuttle, a collective sigh of relief echoed through the shuttle. Even broken, the ship was a sign of hope. There were some sparks coming from the hull, a sign people were already turning their attention to the wires and the Good Doctor wondered how much of the hope attached to the vessel came from previously knowing that Commander Shepard was aboard. She was no longer there, and yet, they all felt the old relief. The Normandy had been made into a symbol.

"Looks like they've already started on repairs down there," the Doctor called out over the sounds of the engines," We'll need to be ready to move right away. Keyell, if there's anything you can do when we land, give them your help. We want to get that ship in the air as soon as possible."

"Of course, sir." the Quarian answered.

"She's a fine ship. I do not doubt you'll have plenty of knowledge to take to your home world."

'I cannot wait, sir." "Don't sir me, Keyell."

The Quarian started to protest, but he held back his typical quip of 'no, sir.' They shared a laugh as he landed the shuttle. The Good Doctor tried to be easy going during the dreadful times of war, and now that they had moved into a time of repair, he could not let that falter. He found it was infectious for those around him, and it made it easier for him to live.

The airlock door to the Normandy was left wide open, likely so those working on the repairs for the hull could pass in and out of the ship easily. The Doctor saw two humans outside, both men, tall and muscled sorts. They were likely Alliance Marines, the only ones who chose to put their hands to the work.

Keyell opened the shuttle door and the Good Doctor let himself out ahead on the volunteers. He earned looks from the two soldiers that halted their work. Casual looks at first, until they realized they weren't looking at a Quarian.

"Good afternoon. We're here to aid in your repairs and answer your distress call. I have two trained engineers and an eager Asari to help with the engineering trouble. How are your supplies holding up?"

The largest soldier, dressed down to his Alliance standard casuals spoke to him with a heavy accent he had not heard in years," I'd think you should talk to Scars. He's been burying himself in checking on what survived the crash. He needs the relief."

"Scars? I'm afraid I'm not familiar with the nickname." The Doctor chuckled softly as the others stepped out of the shuttle behind him.

The other male human took a deep breath, and the voice he spoke with was recognizable to the Good Doctor. Kaidan Alenko. He had heard interviews with the second human spectre, but never watched the footage attached to them.

"Vega gives everyone nicknames. He meant Garrus Vakarian. He's the senior member of the crew in most respects... and he needed the distraction."

"Very well. We'll head inside, if you don't mind. Remila and Jason will aid you out here."

The Doctor looked back to Aurelius and Solana and made note of the relief obvious in the way their mandibles had shifted. They would find out when they got inside if there had been any deaths on impact, what supplies had survived, if anyone needed medical attention. He would have his chance to speak with the crew of the Normandy about their feelings following what had happened. They'd know better than anyone, and the Doctor wanted answers.

He lifted himself into the airlock of the Normandy and onto the main deck of the ship. He cast his gaze up and down the hall, staring at a moment to the empty terminals. Likely, everyone was busy trying to get themselves off the ground. There was no one there to greet them. The Good Doctor hadn't expected anything different, given all of the work that surely needed to be done. Able hands must have put themselves to good use. He let out a soft sigh as he moved toward the center of the ship, the bright light of the galactic map drawing him deeper.

A female voice called out in surprise upon seeing him, a light accent he recognized from humans born in the United Kingdom on Earth," Oh! You must be the Doctor who's ships answered our distress signal. I'm so glad the ship didn't go down in an uncharted part of the galaxy. I'm Specialist Traynor, with the Alliance. I've been heading communications since I came aboard."

The woman was so friendly, and when he finally caught sight of her, he found such an attitude was present in her entire demeanor. She smiled widely despite his covered face, and she seemed to be doing alright, all things considered.

"You can just keep calling me Doctor. These two are Aurelius and Solana Vakarian. Can you point me to the Turian aboard the ship?"

"He's down on the engineering deck checking through cargo. He needs the distraction."

"You're the second person to tell us that. Is there something else bothering him?" The Good Doctor sighed.

"Yes, well... He's not taking being separated from the Commander very well. We don't even know if she's alive, and that is a troublesome thought for all of us," Traynor's tone took on sadness.

He assumed everyone on board was feeling like that. They had all served a terrible period of time together. The Reaper Invasion had been kind to no one, and on a ship like the Normandy, he thought close companionship was inevitable. How close, he didn't care to think about just yet. Making sure everyone was taken care of and on the road to recovery as all that mattered to him.

"They've been through a lot since they started serving together, or so I've gathered. Thank you for letting us know, Specialist."

"Of course, sir. Thank you for stopping for us."

"it's what I do."

He doubted the specialist trusted him entirely. Most did not believe him when he came with offers of help, even when the Reapers were knocking down people's doors. The mask bothered them, but he wore it for his own safety now. The Good Doctor found out the hard way that you can only get away with so much good before you have to disappear. For all intensive purposes, he had disappeared. This was just round two. Baring no identity with him as he traveled from system to system preparing for the Reapers made it all easier. He took no prisoners. He took all that he believed would aid his endeavors, and he didn't give a damn who he took it from.

"We'll go to the cargo bay to speak with Garrus. It can't be too hard to find. Do what you must, Doctor," Aurelius Vakarian stated as the group moved toward the Normandy's elevator.

"Very well. The sight of family will do him good. Best to hide the faceless one until he's calmed down."

"Do you think he isn't calm?" Solana asked.

"I have no doubt. Three people said he needed the distraction. You don't need a tedious distraction like checking on supplies unless something is very wrong, especially if you're a turian."

* * *

_She looked older, like the years everyone else had passed latched onto her in the time since Kaidan Alenko had set eyes on Alice Shepard on Horizon. She was settled down next to him on one of the hospital's chairs, an awkward silence falling in after they spoke about Udina. He paused on the words he wanted to say, making note of her short red hair, and the blue eyes that stared back at him. She could sense the tension, no doubt._

_"Was there.. something else, Kaidan?"_

_"Yeah, maybe," He paused again and looked away from her," Was there.. something between you and Garrus?"_

_She stood up straight in her seat, caught at attention. Her brow perked and her voice became almost defensive. He didn't like it._

_"Where the hell did you hear that?"_

_"Everyone knows. I heard... talk about it from some of the old crew when you were relieved of duty. Joker.. may have mentioned it right to my face."_

_"Goddamit, Joker." She cursed aloud, tilting her head to the right, "We shouldn't be having this talk now. Not with you like this."_

_"Look, if its because of what happened on Horizon.. I'll own that. I wasn't fair to you," Kaidan tried to reason. He wasn't sure what he had to say, but he turned his gaze back to her now._

_Was she faltering about it? He couldn''t tell just by looking at her. Shepard always held a particular expression when she was in a serious talk with someone, practically immovable. Her eyes betrayed some anger to him, and he wondered why._

_"Its not just about Horizon. Horizon was just the icing on the cake."_

_"Were we having problems before... before you died? Were there things you weren't telling me, Shepard?" He sat up in the hospital bed, the conversation evolving into more than he thought it would._

_"I don't know what I was thinking jumping into that with you. I mean, going to Ilos could have been the end. I didn't even take you with when we left. Garrus was always with me. There's not been a single mission I've gone on where he wasn't right next to me. I was going to break it off next time we were at the Citadel, see if I could find you another ship... There's no one I trusted more than him and.. After Horizon, I realized how fucking stupid I was." She held her hands up in the air at that, leaning back in her seat and looking to the window," There you go. Happy?"_

_"For a bit there, I thought you were just... curious about turians. Joker didn't make it sound like-"_

_"Did he make it sound like it was just about the sex? I swear to god if that's what he said I'll pinch him so hard his wrist fractures."_

_"No, no. It was more in passing.. Like he thought you told me about it."_

_"Jesus, look. All I want to get out there is that there is absolutely, I repeat, absolutely, no way we are getting back together-"_

_"That serious, Alice?"_

_"Goddamit don't call me that. Two people in the galaxy can call me by my first name, and never in public."_

_"One in the shower and.. The other when they video call you?" Kaidan tried to joke._

_She seemed to get it right of the bat that he was talking about Garrus and her mother, but the tension coming from Shepard was getting a little high. She was indeed on the defensive, setting the record as straight as she could. These were the times where she was a bit forceful. She pressed her back firm to the seat, right hand grabbing her knee. He thought she was clenching her jaw at this point._

_"Well, it used to be three... My dad and all, but cute, Alenko. When you're better we'll... air this out a bit more. I don't want to stress you when you're like this._"

* * *

Kaidan blinked out of his day dream, casting his gaze to the two who had volunteered to help him and Vega with the ship's hull. They worked without speaking, and Vega was starting to hum an unfamiliar tune in the silence all around them. Kaidan couldn't help but think about Shepard, and he was a little surprised he thought of that exact moment. She never said a word more about it even when he was on the ship, but there were plenty of experiences that served to remind him where he stood after that.

Jack, some Biotic from Shepard's Cerberus days, had taken advantage of her shore leave to invite the crew to drinks. She made a damn mess of things, got Shepard so drunk she openly talked about sex with Garrus... And Jack constantly pointed fingers at the second human spectre, declaring how it sucked to be him. She enjoyed teasing him, and for the first time in his life, he had considered violence against a friendly woman.

Vega never said a word about it. Most people didn't care to with the war against the Reapers going on all around them, and when they talked about it, most agreed it was the most natural relationship on the ship. Garrus and Shepard had been through hell and back, that was certain. Now, she had dove into hell alone.. And no one knew if she would, or had, come out alive. The entire ship was silently grieving. Even this circuits of the Normandy seemed to be shedding their tears, sparks of unrest coming from the cables.

He felt worse for Joker. He was right next to him when that red blast moved through the ship and KO'd EDI right beside the pilot. Kaidan had never seen someone's humor go so dry so fast, and he had no doubt it would be staying that way. Then again, stopping the Reapers might have been worth an AI death and the total destruction of the geth, no matter how the later had helped in the war effort and helped the Quarians begin settling on Rannoch.

"Ship's mighty boring and quiet without Lola." Vega said softly. One could hardly hear him over the sound of his blow torch as he repaired the hull.

"When we get through the relay, we'll find her. Its going to take more than one explosion to kill her," Kaidan sighed. He was trying to reassure himself.

"Tell that to Scars. I don't think he's really in the cargo bay."

"Where would he be?"

"Lola's cabin. I'd huddle myself in my woman's blankets and lay there for a bit if I thought she was dead. Probably told us that so we wouldn't bother him."

Kaidan paused as he leaned away from his work, inspecting the seams," Good point."

A hum of static came from their omni-tools as an unfamiliar, but clearly turian voice patched in to the crew's communications. [My son is not in the cargo bay. Garrus, where are you?]

No answer. The turian's voice grew a little firmer. [Garrus.]

The voice of the doctor chimed in at that, a sympathetic tone ringing in. [Let it go for a moment, Aurelius. He's not going anywhere. The ship is stranded. Give him time.]

Kaidan closed his eyes, and he felt a little thankful for that doctor's presence on the ship. He calmed the other turian right down and the communications fell into silence. Wherever Garrus was, he had the opportunity to grieve in peace and silence, that is if that's what he was doing in the first place. Kaidan did not believe it was like him to give up hope that quickly.


	3. Chapter 2: Quiet

_**A bit of a sappy, memory filled chapter. I felt like we all needed some more snippets of Commander Shepard. The next chapter should be much longer. Hint: We goin' to the Citadel.**_

* * *

The Good Doctor settled himself at one of the security consoles for the Normandy with a heavy sigh, his brief exchange over open communications with Aurelius still bright in his mind. He began to cycle through live footage of the rooms, doing the old turian a favor and searching for Garrus without tearing the ship apart. Nothing in the shuttle bay, the engineering deck, and main floor. He saw Solana conversing with an asari crew member in the mess hall, Aurelius staring out the window of the lounge. He did not see sign of Garrus in either, and his search narrowed to the captains quarters.

The floor was locked even from the elevator, not allowing it as a destination. He pondered on what would require such privacy, and he opened the only camera he could access in the room after a great deal of difficulty with the security. The camera was near the desk, and the doctor had a little trouble seeing what exactly Garrus was up to. When he saw him, he found he was settled on the bed, just staring at a picture frame, held tight in his talons. What pictures rotated through there, The Good Doctor could only guess, but he logged out of the terminal out of respect and stepped away.

He knew the look that painted the turian's visage. His mandibles were low, like a frown. Garrus stared at the pictures not really seeing them, and yet he appeared entirely submerged in them. Aurelius looked the same way when he would speak of his late mate to the people aboard the ship they traveled on, and the Good Doctor felt a tug of sadness on his heart. What would Commander Shepard never experience, if she died? Family, perhaps? Had she known peace and quiet for more than a day?

He pressed the communicator in his omni-tool in order to hook up with the ship orbiting the planet, and Disali was quick to answer him. [Yes sir?]

[Anything from our friends in the Sol System?]

[Not yet, sir. Crassia promised she would send word the minute they found her. I'll do what I can to get the message through to you when it comes.]

[Thank you, Disali.] He shut the channel and began to walk into the hall between the elevator and the memorial wall. He stared at the names of the fallen as his mind drifted again. He wondered how many had given their lives willingly, or who had died in some sort of accident. The Good Doctor had never met any of these people intimately. Would they put Shepard's name on this wall without knowing for sure what had happened to her?

* * *

Garrus settled the picture frame he had been staring at to his side, the cycling of its stored pictures stopped on one from the their date night on the Citadel. He had forced her to dance. Vega snuck the photo, to keep it as a memory and a tease. He remembered, Shepard had been at first furious at the sight of the picture, always brought to a subdued fury when anyone talked about her dancing skills. He had been surprised to see it cycle through the frame she kept near her bed. She later admitted it was the best picture they had together.

In the last few nights before they attacked the Illusive Man's base, and everything went to hell promptly afterward, he had stayed with her per her request. She confessed to having trouble sleeping, saying that she only felt better when he was right next to her. Shepard never complained about his plates poking her, though he knew it had to bother her from time to time. The red signs of irritation on her back were always obvious in the morning, but she never seemed to care. She slept as long as he stayed right next to her, waking whenever he stirred to leave the bed.

* * *

_"You're a life saver, Garrus. I don't know what I'd do without you."_

_She pressed her palm against his scarred mandible, an affectionate smile on her face as she stared up at him, sheets held tight to her chest. The lights were low. He could almost see through her thin white sheets, the curves of her soft and naked body hardly unknown to him. He propped himself up on his elbow, his head tilting toward the pillow as he considered falling down into her bed and to her side._

_"I don't know what anyone would do without you, Alice," he answered after a pause._

_She gave a slight huff in return, but no vocalized response. Shepard knew well enough that a lot more people would be dead if she didn't do the things she did. Her hand left his face and fell to rejoin her other arm, tucking close to her body. He took this as his sign and finally laid down next to her, his talons dragging lightly against the skin of her back before he pulled her into an embrace._

_"Get some sleep. You need it."_

_She nodded before pressing her forehead into the dip of his chest plates, right at his collar. Her arms unwound from her own body and found their place around him. Garrus hardly understood how she found such good ways to mold herself against him, like she was built for it. A light hum built up in her throat, one of comfort and momentary happiness._

_"I meant it, you know. I don't know what I'd do without you..."_

* * *

Probably not sleep very well, or have someone to make bets on kill counts. Alice Shepard was a damn good shot, and when both of them stared down the scopes of their rifles, whomever had the good fortune of being on the team usually didn't have much work to do. Shepard's old Widow rifle was her pride and joy, and he had seen bullets from that thing absolutely shred the poor bastards unlucky enough to get in the way.

He remembered how she complained about her weapons being taken from where when she arrived on Menae. Shepard never shut up about wanting her rifle, that the Mantis was an inferior sniper and she hated it. Vega teased her incessantly, and she challenged him to try and fire the Widow when she got it back. He had been game for the challenge, until he saw her use its new version. James Vega, scared of a gun. They teased each other back and forth about it, and it never stopped with the gun.

* * *

_"Shit, Lola. Wouldn't you want someone who could share your food?"_

_"Have you seen me eat, Vega? This is absolutely the best arrangement I could ever ask for. No one will ever lose a finger for touching my chocolate ice cream, and if I black out on turian brandy, I have a turian to take care of me. I am a sloppy piece of work if you give me turian brandy."_

_"You shouldn't be drinking it anyway, Shepard. You're a levo based lifeform." Tali's voice chimed in._

_"Oh come on. I'm not allergic, Thank god. Nothin gets me drunk faster, and I love all things turian."_

_"Oh I bet you do."_

* * *

He let out a deep breath, a subvocal chirp of his discomfort and frustration ringing through the room. He never liked being separated from her. Garrus hated it when she asked him to lead the second squad during their mission to the Collector base if only because he had to be separated from her. He hated when the Alliance took her and the Normandy, and he couldn't even get to her through an omni-tool chat log. She died the first time they were ever separated, in the middle of one of those aforementioned chat logs. He had kept it all that time, especially once he found out what happened.

* * *

[Location: Citadel]

[Connected to SSV Normandy]

[15:00] S: Garrus. Its been awhile.

[15:01] G: a few weeks, yes. Did you need something, Shepard?

[15:03] S: we're going to be coming back to the Citadel in a few days. Thought we could grab a drink and I could give you some pointers about being a spectre. Got time to talk? How's training?

[15:04] G: Not what i imagined, but I'll take your word its worth it. It would be good to see you again.

[15:05] S: No kidding. Normandy's damn lonely without you, or Tali, or Wrex, or Liara. I know you guys have important shit to do on your own, but damn.

[15:07] G: What? Alenko boring you?

[15:09] S: Always. There's no one to talk to on this damn ship anymore.

[15:11] G: That doesn't sound good.

[15:12] S: It isn't. I actually wanted to talk to you about that.

[15: 13] S: I made a big mistake.

[15:15] G: What kind of mistake?

[15:17] S: I never should have slept with him. I feel like a cunt.

[15:18] G: What now?

[15:19] S: Foul human word for- never mind. Its just used to talk about a very bad kind of woman.

[15:20] S: Damn it. Everytime i try to have a chat with someone...One second, looks like we might have found the geth.

[15:21] G:alright. I'll be here.

[15:25] S: Garrus. I'm going to miss you.

[15:27] G: What are you talking about, Shepard? You said you'd be on the Citadel in a few days. I'll see you then.

[16:40] G: Shepard?

[21:13] G: Alice?

* * *

When he asked her about it, after she helped him kill Sidonis and they started down the path of their relationship, she told him that she wanted him to know how important he was to her, even then. She didn't take the time to tell Kaidan that when she was floating in space, dying, running out of air. She got one message out. To him. Garrus made sense of it on his own. Alice Shepard never went anywhere, did anything, without him as her back up. Kaidan Alenko sat his ass in the comfortable Normandy every time they had gone out, and she didn't think twice about who she brought with her.

Against Saren, she always called for him and Wrex.

Against the Collectors, it had been him and Jack.

In the last leg of her war, it was always him and Liara.

_If things go from bad to worse, I want to be right next to you when they do. I am not going to die alone again. I am not._

And at the end of every one, something always kept them a system or more apart. Death, the Alliance, and now the Normandy's crash. He wanted to be the one to fish her off of the Citadel. He wanted to be the one to find her and save her. Garrus Vakarian didn't trust anyone else to pull Alice Shepard out of the fire.

He was distracted from his thoughts by the door to the cabin flashing green. Someone had hacked their way through the elevator lock, and then the door. He stood and contained a territorial growl, not wanting to be disturbed. He didn't expect or recognize the person who stood there when the door opened.

The Good Doctor stood tall for a human, his hands clasped in front of him. The gold shine of his quarian mask looked strange in the light Shepard's fish tank cast on him, and he tried to make it obvious in his stance that he meant no harm.

"They said you had been gone for awhile. I thought you needed a little help being brought back to reality, Vakarian."

"Who are you?" Garrus asked.

"People call me the Good Doctor. My group and I were taking our research and repair vessels through to the Sol system to be ready for any repairs the Citadel and the fleets would need after Commander Shepard won this war, but only two ships got through. We received the distress signal from the Normandy when waiting for a sign, and I brought a few people along to help. Your father and sister are waiting for you on the crew deck."

The Good Doctor's omni-tool only fed back a static hum at the string of sounds Garrus made. He didn't need the tool to tell him what they meant. They were sounds of confusion. He'd been around turians long enough to know without a translator to spell it out for him. He made a mental note to correct his translator into leaving the subvocal sounds to their own devices. The static loop only made it harder for him to read into.

"I rescued them among one of the last groups of refugees on Palaven. When they learned my purpose, they decided to join me. I suggest that when you have collected yourself, you go down to speak with them. Aurelius already attempted to contact you but to no avail. I assume your communications are shut down."

"Mmm, I didn't want to be bothered."

"Understandable. I reacted similarly when I was separated from my wife," he canted his head low, perhaps to show his respect for Garrus' privacy.

"We weren't married by human standards, or mated by turian ritual."

"Traditional bonds don't mean a damn thing, if I may be frank with you. Though I don't know much about turian mating. I get the feeling there's some sort of biological reason for it...Nevertheless, I don't need to be told to see she was important to you, especially when you locked yourself in here under the guise you're checking supplies, but I promise you this much," The Good Doctor paused," she'll be fine. She's a damn tough cookie. Always was."

Garrus settled back down on the edge of the bed, offering a weak laugh," She fought a Reaper one on one with a targeting gun. I'd say that counts for tough."

"More than tough. Have to be fast to move out of the way of those big.. death beam things," he kept a respectable distance and settled down on the couch, "I remember when she was a child, and her mother bought her her first practice rifle. The gunnery chief aboard the ship set some targets up for her in the shuttle bay, and when I was working on one of the shuttles, her parents were down there teaching her. Took out an old can of something on her first shot. She was seven."

"Friend of the family, I take it?" the turian eyed him critically, the same scrutiny he was placed under by Aurelius in the first several weeks he had known him.

"Something like that, yes. Everyone called her the Princess of the Vendetta, the ship her mother captained at the time. We were never on strictly military missions, so the Alliance allowed her on board. Her father wasn't military, either. A medical doctor, if I recall correctly," the tone his voice took on rang with nostalgia, even through the filter of the mask," But I wasn't on the ship much past her twelfth birthday. Her father went missing a few days before I got reassigned."

"She never talks about her father," Garrus said.

Talks. He said it like she could still tell him about her father someday, like he had some hope left in his heart. He couldn't give up on her just yet, even if that were the easier choice. It had only been a day.

Only a day.

"Can't say I blame her. Some people say he left his family to throw his lot in with Cerberus. Others just assume he got in a drunk fight with a turian he didn't walk out of," The Doctor's voice brought Garrus back to reality.

The turian shook his head, as if trying to shoo away his thoughts,"And what to do you think?"

"I think that, whatever happened to him, he did it for his family. Though, he did have a habit of getting into fights with turians. Should ask your father about the drunk human in Purgatory, some time."

"I remember. I was old enough to remember him coming home in a foul mood."

"I just watched the fight. I probably should have stepped in, but I would not have been much help. Doctor Shepard deserve the whole damn thing."

"What did he do?"

"That's not for me to say," the Good Doctor sighed.

"Fair enough."

They fell into silence, and the doctor moved to make himself more comfortable. He rested the ankle of his right leg on his knee and allowed his right leg to fall horizontal. He leaned forward reaching out with a hand," If its not too much, may I see that frame?"

* * *

"Have we heard anything from aunt Crassia? Did the ship make it through alright?" Solana stepped up beside her father and looked out the window of the ship, scanning the tropical world before them with disinterest.

"The Doctor doesn't worry, so I don't worry," Aurelius crossed his arms over his chest and looked to his daughter.

He knew that they likely would not have been rescued by the Good Doctor if it hadn't been for Crassia Vakarian, Aurelius' elder sister. He wasn't sure how she managed to convince him to fly a single ship to Palaven's surface and help with the rescue efforts, but she had managed it. Now, she was in an entire other star system, likely scouring the Citadel with several of the others that the Doctor trusted to find and care for Commander Shepard.

"She seemed so set on being on that team. I wonder why she wanted to help the Commander so much."

"She told me that wherever she went, Garrus went. I suppose that isn't always the case, since the Commander is probably dead on the Citadel, and your brother is cowering somewhere on her ship."

"Don't say it like that," Solana quipped back at her father," He's just grieving. They all are. No one knows what happened, and they're prepared for the worst. Did she say anything else... about them?"

"Garrus and the Commander? No. Is there something else to know?" His mandibles flared as the curious undertone rose up in his voice.

"I wouldn't know," Solana looked away immediately.

She always had her suspicions, but she never knew for sure. Her aunt had been on Menae to care for the wounded when Garrus had been fighting beside Adrien Victus, and if she knew her own kind, and her own brother, he might have spilled secrets like that when he believed he was going to die.

"She is human. I highly doubt there's anything more to it than she was his Commander frequently and for so long."

Solana hummed to agree with her father, shifting her weight from foot to foot. The Doctor had left the crew deck a long time ago, and she was starting to wonder where he had gone off to. Did he go to legitimately check on the supplies? No, he would have said something...

[Aurelius, your son is on his way down. Be gentle.] The joking, and yet somehow serious, tone of the Doctor's voice spread out and echoed in the room from her father's omni-tool. What a bastard, he'd gone to find Garrus.

[I'll try, my friend.] Her father responded into the communication before he turned his head to Solana again.

"I wonder what he's done to get Garrus to crawl out of wherever he was hiding."


	4. Chapter 3: A Reason to Live

**_Not nearly as long as I thought it would be, but I enjoyed writing it. Thank you so much for the reviews. They are always appreciated._**

* * *

_"Shepard-Commander." Legion. She heard Legion in her head._

_"Shepard. Good to see you. Come." He sniffed, "Have drink with me." Mordin.. Poor Mordin._

_"Commander. Look at you, Savior of the Galaxy." Ashley._

_"Commander Shepard, I did not expect you so soon." Thane's peculiar voice fell into the chorus._

_"Hey there, baby girl. My princess soldier is a warrior queen now, huh?" Daddy._

_"We did it, Commander." Anderson. He sounded so proud._

_A white light glazed over her vision and for a moment, she was blind. It either passed or she adjusted. Alice Shepard found herself in a crisp white space, populated only by the dead who went before her. The voices that had slowly coaxed her into being now had bodies. Legion, Mordin, Ashley, Thane, Anderson, even Cortez and the Commander's own father were standing at a bar, the very same she must have promised to meet Garrus at. Her father held out a hand to her, a wide, young smile on his face. He was just as she remembered him on her twelfth birthday. Silly ginger hair a mess on his head, green eyes shining brightly at the sight of his princess._

_They were all glad to see her. She could even see it in the geth, as if what she had done to his people did not matter. They all smiled, freed of the burdens they had carried in their lives. They weren't ashamed of her. They weren't upset with her for the things she had done, the lives she had taken, or the choices she had made. They didn't care. They were at peace. No illness weighed them down. Their jobs were done._

_There was no unholy blaring sound that the Reapers made when they were targeting her. No unbearable, crushing weight upon her legs. The pain was gone and she didn't have to scream for help anymore. Relief was bittersweet. The stillness of this place she found herself in brought a quiet peace to her heart and she took a step forward._

_"Alice."_

_She whipped her head around to look over her shoulder, the familiar dark forest of her earlier dreams lurking in the space that had been behind her all along. It was no longer the dead calling to her from it. She had heard Garrus' voice out there._

_Panic washed the relief clean from her heart and she fully turned to face the shaded space, eyes falling to where the darkness encroached on the white plane of where she could go. She couldn't see anyone out there between the trees, shadows shifting and moving, faking her out with shapes that could be anyone._

_"Hey, Red. Wake up." Jack was calling for her now, nickname and all. The biotic was just as insistent as her lover._

_A blue, biotic wave rushed through the trees in front of her, pushing out all of the dark smoke and clouds. The way was clear. She could see a path she never noticed before in her dreams, a way back._

_"Shepard, I owe you." Miranda, awful bitch Alice Shepard often thought she was, even called her in the opposite direction of the dead now. That was the last voice she expected to hear._

_She spared a look back to the dead. They watched her with solemn expressions now, her choice obvious. She could go to them, or she could go back to the living voices that called her home. Return to the pain of living, the broken bones that left her immovable, the trouble breathing, her own blood clouding her vision. She could stay to be free of that, but hadn't it been her own father that told her suffering made it all worth it?_

_"What about us, Shepard?" Tali called to her from the cleared forest now._

_Her father's expression returned to that encouraging smile she remembered so well, and he waved a hand dismissively._

_"Go, baby. I'll be waiting for you somewhere. They need you," Her father said to her, his voice dripping with too much affection. It was like she was five years old again, and he was encouraging her to keep trying to tie her shoes._

_"Alice, please," she heard Garrus again._

_All of those that were calling to her to live again could be seen now, spread out among the dead trees that haunted her dreams throughout the war. Garrus held out his hand to her from the back of the pack, and it was Miranda and Jack who were near the front. She had unfinished business, that was certain. Alice Shepard had a tropical place to retire to when she woke up, a big hug and a silly, cross species kiss to give to a certain turian. She couldn't die yet. As much as she wanted to give up, as much as she wanted to be free... She knew it was almost over._

_Alice sprinted down the path that Jack had cleared for her. She was almost there._

* * *

The view of where the Crucible met the Citadel was remarkable. The connection that bound them had lost all color, but she could see where the beam must have been when it was active. The ruin left behind by the activation of their weapon made her uneasy. The turian took a deep breath, surveying the area for people moving about. A team of humans was moving up one of the ramps as her shuttle and a second made their way into the space.

"There are two Alliance teams searching the ruin already. The environment is still hospitable to life, at least the air quality. Jack, the biotic from the Cerberus dossiers you mentioned, Miranda, is leading a team to help aid in the search. Admiral Hannah Shepard brought a small squad as well. They're sweeping the entire area, and we should be there to get her the proper care. With you taking care of her implants and Doctor Farris to do the rest, she'll make it if we get to her soon."

A deep, worried chirp joined the words of Crassia Vakarian as the two ships in ownership of the Good Doctor took their rest near where they believed Shepard to be in the ruined Citadel. She spoke in a rushed tone to the former Cerberus agent who joined them at the last minute, a personal recommendation from the Doctor that she absolutely had to be there. Doctor Farris accepted her begrudgingly and there they stood at the airlocks of each small medical shuttle, Crassia at one door and Miranda at the other.

The female turian was tall for her species, silver toned facial plates painted in the very same pattern as the rest of her family. She leapt out of the ship as the door opened, eyes locking with the human as she did the same. Her mandibles flared in a show of her worry, but she didn't know if it translated to Miss Lawson. They took off in a sort of jog toward the direction of the two teams mentioned to them. Just behind them, a pair of medics was preparing a hovering stretcher in case the scenario was severe.

"Do you have an experience treating humans, Doctor Vakarian?" Miranda asked.

"Some. I've done what I can to help the refugees that were aboard the Good Doctor's ships. I wanted to be here in case my nephew was hurt as well. He wouldn't leave Commander Shepard's side for anything-"

"Unless she made him," the former Cerberus agent interrupted with a poignant phrase, loaded with all sorts of thoughts," On the mission against the Collectors, she had him leading the second squad every time."

Perhaps Commander Shepard knew what could happen to her. She would not have wanted Garrus to follow her into a situation that might ultimately have ended in her death. She took a breath and turned her gaze away from the human who volunteered to join the search and began to scan the rubble. She heard boots against stone not far ahead, and then an ungodly, agonized screech filled the air.

She instinctively reached for her pistol, the sound almost reminding her of the asari reapers she had seen only once, but the longer the scream continued, the more she realized it was human.

"Shepard. Oh, god." Miranda started off at a full run.

* * *

The Commander squirmed on her back as she heard the tapping echo of others in the chamber she had never seen until the Crucible was attached. She wailed and stared up at the Crucible as it floated above her, reminding her of what she had done. The blast had burnt off more of her armor, the synthetic parts of her rendered useless by the signal let out by the machine above her.

She rolled her head onto its side and looked to the horizon of Earth, watching the homeworld of her people coming into daylight. She could see the sun behind it, and it brought a small smile to her face. Shepard had only ever lived there when she was 'relieved of duty', but she had done exactly what she wanted to do. She destroyed the Reapers. There were sacrifices like the geth, and Edi, but she had done it.

Shepard wondered where Garrus was and she grabbed on tight to whatever was under her hand. It felt like rubble of some kind, and she was thankful she had somehow wiggled herself free of it. The dust of it clung to her fingers and she looked to the stars, pondering over which of them Garrus might have found his way to on the Normandy. She could no more thank herself for sending him and Liara away when the going got rough than she did right in that moment. If they had been with her when she was hit by the Reaper's beam, it would have killed them all. He and Liara would have been waiting for her at that bar too, and she'd have no reason to be laying there fighting for her life. She hoped they hadn't lost hope. She hoped she hadn't been lying there for too long.

The sound of boots on the metal floor grew louder.

"Hello?" Shepard called out.

"Shepard?! Jesus!" Jack's voice echoed back to her and the steps grew quicker, closer.

She saw Jack's face cross into her vision, hiding Earth away from her view as the biotic kneeled down next to her. There was shock in her eyes, and an unspoken fear brought a wet sheen to the woman's cheeks. She must have been as afraid Shepard would die up there as the Commander herself was. She could not die like this. She had made the selfish choice, and if she wanted to die, she would have chosen control.

"Hey, you." Shepard breathed. She couldn't manage to say much more.

Her softer tone seemed to ease the woman above her, and Jack rested a hand on her shoulder briefly," shit, if Garrus was here..."

"Let's... not think about that. He'd probably.. kill someone." She chuckled with pain.

The Grissom students were coming up the slope now, but they did not make any vocal sound to announce themselves. They must have sensed the discomfort and fear from their teacher who just continued to sit over Shepard, afraid to touch her or to move her.

"He's a damn protective son of a bitch, got his work cut out for him with you, Shepard."

Shepard only hummed slightly in response, words getting harder for her. He had resisted when she had him evac'd by the Normandy, that protective glint in his eyes that she came to know far too well. She could still see the look on his face, the sorrowful sub vocals he had no control over when she started to pull her hand away from the scared side of his face still ringing in her ears. Her eyes turned skyward and she worried again.

More footsteps, heavy and rushed breath flooding out sounds from her memory. Miranda's voice.

"Jack, please. Step away from her, she needs to be examined."

Jack prepares a protest, but a flanging, turian voice chimed in higher, female and worried. It was growing closer with every word," I'll get a scan and send it to Doctor Farris so he can get the medbay ready."

Shepard kept staring up, and she saw Jack lean back and away.

"Shit, okay," the biotic cursed," I'm trusting you big time, cheerleader. I can't do shit."

"If it makes you feel better, trust me instead," the turian voice counseled, now leaning into Shepard's vision. Blue marks. Silver plates. Family.

No words came, so she hummed to try and say hello. The woman above her seemed to understand completely and her mandibles flicked out in a smile of greeting and happiness joined as one. She was glad to see Shepard aware and responding.

"Hello, Commander. I've heard a lot about you. Its good to finally see you face to face. My name is Crassia, I am Garrus' aunt. Miranda and I are here to take care of you," she kept talking as the omni-tool took its readings. She didn't read any of it aloud, though much of if was being fed to Miranda's tool as well," He talked about you on Menae quite a bit. I think he was afraid he wouldn't see you again. I'm glad you ran into each other when you were looking for the Primarch. You would be a good mate for him."

She was so open about it that it was a little shocking. She and Garrus kept things mostly quiet outside of the Normandy. Shepard had once told her mother so that she could get some kind of message to him. Their dates on the Citadel were the most public the two of them ever got. She imagined the turian above her was his confidant on it all. She was likely as good of a listener as a talker.

"You don't need to talk her to death, Crassia," Miranda kneeled on the other side of Shepard, to be seen as well.

"Nonsense. Talking to those who might die gives them focus. So I'll talk about my nephew, so that she hangs on. Where is that stretcher?"

"Coming. Its safe to move her for now. The medi-gel in her suit stopped any hemorrhaging."

Crassia nodded as she kept looking down at Shepard, equally deep blue pairs of eyes staring," He missed you very much. I thought for sure you two were already mated with the way he was acting, separated from you. I guess that just shows how much you two cared for each other. Never ceases to amaze me when I think about it."

Shepard hummed again as her sign of her agreement. It amazed her too, and she wondered how many people might have been so in awe of them, even if Crassia were only exaggerating her view of the matter to keep Shepard focused on the moment.

She saw Crassia's arms slink slowly underneath her head and her legs, and Shepard's body left the ground. The brunt of her pain was in her ribs and her legs, but it was over quickly as she was lowered to the floating stretcher that had been brought to them by the medical teams. Jack stood and watched her with careful eyes, fearful.

"You better keep her alive, cheerleader, or I am gonna be the least of your fucking worries."

Crassia interjected again. She wouldn't have this argumentative behavior over a critical patient," We will take care of her. I promise she'll pull through."

"I'll be okay, Jack," Shepard said weakly.

"We need to get her on board one of the shuttles and to the main ship. Her blood oxygen levels are getting too low."

Miranda produced an oxygen mask to help try and remedy this problem from somewhere, but Shepard didn't see from where. All she knew was that she was thankful to have a little more direct a source of air. It made her feel much better, the dull ache in her body from broken bones, burns, and cuts lessened. Even her skin was aching, but the air certainly helped her power through it.

"Let's get you out of here, Commander."

* * *

The shuttle ride away from the place she could have found final rest in was smooth, and the transfer into the well supplied medbay went by in a haze of bright lights and unfamiliar twists and turns within a small medical vessel. She longed to be on the third level of the Normandy, going into the capable hands of Doctor Chakwas. She would have liked to see Garrus walking next to her stretcher with twitching mandibles and worried chirps underlying his speech. He would be horrified to see her, and maybe then he would know how she felt when he took a rocket to the face.

The Doctor that came to stand over her with an unwavering expression worked with deft hands. He injected her with a sedative almost the minute she passed into his medbay. She remembered his furrowed brow and grey hair before she went under. They were not going to waste time on her.

Doctor Farris went about draining her lungs of the blood that threatened to choke her the longer she went without treatment. All of her synthetic pieces given to her by the Lazarus Project were shut down, and all would need to be replaced or rebooted, but none of that could be done unless she was stabilized. Miranda worked nearby to determine from omni-tool scans what she would have to do once Farris finished his work, and Crassia stood nearby to help where the machines of the lab could not.

He knew the turian would wait to report to the Good Doctor until they were absolutely certain the Commander had stabilized sufficiently. They had already spent a day looking for her, and he expected it would take another day for her to breath well enough on her own to be considered stable.

"Its a damn miracle she is alive. No one else would be breathing at all without these synthetic implants helping her," Farris cursed.

"She has a reason to live," Crassia said quickly," People do amazing things when they want to live."

"I take it she has a lover boy promising a nice life at the end of this war?"

"If only you knew," Miranda quipped with sarcasm.

"My nephew, actually." Crassia said as she turned a deaf ear to the human female's comment.

"And here I thought that shit only happened in Fornax."

He meant, of course, turian-human relations. Two of the four people in this room were old enough to remember the Relay 314 Incident rather well, but the one on the table was not one of those people. Though she lived her life purely on Alliance vessels, that did not stop her from being exposed to the other races of the galaxy, and Crassia started to believe that the old fight meant nothing at all to the younger generations. Her nephew knew well enough not to say a word to his father about the human who may as well be his mate, but that was only because Aurelius was infamous for disapproval. She imagined that when this came to light, she would have to defend the relationship. Such a thing proved little challenge to her. She was experienced in standing up for mated couples that seemed out of place.

Turians had a peculiar way of separating their culture, or at least it seemed that way to aliens that came to learn of it. In the Hierarchy, women served long, fought hard, and were just as powerful as their male counterparts, but there had never once been a female Primarch. When asked by a human about the peculiar separation of status between their sexes, Crassia answered simply. Women had a far more important role. Women were heads of their clans. Turians were proud of their race, but they were even closer to their families. That was why there were so few female turians roaming the galaxy. Their service times were spent on purely turian vessels, and they were always running back and forth to their home colonies, especially if they were an elder daughter.

And Crassia, she was Vakarian clan leader, but that was only because Felidra, her brother's mate, was dead. Crassia never took a mate, and that made her the best candidate for the position. If it hadn't been her, and Garrus had been mated to someone, it would have been that woman. She was very glad she found herself in this place now. Crassia could make things much easier for her nephew, and she hoped being near Commander Shepard would further incline her to it.

"I'll have to meet this kid. I don't think a human man exists who could take the stress of having this woman as a wife. Look at her! She's a damn wreck and savior of the galaxy. Heart attacks and jealousy pangs everywhere," Doctor Farris sighed.

"I doubt he has any reason to be jealous of anyone," Miranda entered on the conversation," Even when we were fighting the Collectors, people on the ship were jealous of him. He never once stayed behind on a mission."

"He probably wouldn't have stayed behind if she asked him to," Crassia said gently as she watched the monitor blink and glow, outlining its work for those in the room.

Shepard's lungs had been drained of the blood that tried to drown her, and her oxygen levels were steadily going up. Some of her implants helped her to move, and she started to understand that without the clasped metal piece Crassia could see on Shepard's spine, the Commander would never be up to par. She could only guess that in the corner of the medbay, Miranda was being fed all of the information the machine took in, and she was using it to determine her plan of action once the war hero was stabilized.

"You should go tell the Good Doctor we found her. She is in a place where I believe its safe to say she will live. He will be glad to hear it, Crassia."

"If you say so, Doctor Farris. I'll be back in soon," Crassia pushed herself away from the surgical bed and was on her way out of the medbay, shedding the protective layers of sterilized cloth from her uniform as the door opened for her.

She made her way quickly to the comm room and began to search for any way she could find to get the message to him immediately. The quantum entanglement communications would be the easiest if he were aboard the vessel, but if she knew him, he found something to keep him busy when she was out having all of the fun with a half dead human.

Instead, she attempted to patch into the comm desk of the Doctor's vessel, and she was relieved to hear Disali's voice, even if it came in full of static.

[Doctor Vakarian, good to see you calling in! Do you have a report for the Good Doctor?]

[Yes. Tell him at his earliest convenience to try and contact me through the quantum entanglement communications. Tell him we found her, and Doctor Farris thinks he can save her. She's going to live.]

Disali breathed an audible sigh of relief,[ Good, good. I'll send that down to him right away- also, rest easy, Crassia. Your nephew is okay. We found the Normandy.]

[Thank you for telling me, Disali. I'll be sure to tell the Commander when she is awake as well. Stay safe out there.] Crassia stood from her seat, turning to exit the comm room.

[You too.] Disali's voice cut out, the end of the call.


	5. Interlude 1: Garrus

_**A weekend update! Figured I'd toss this little snippet of things I wrote but never used earlier in the fic. Might keep doing this every few chapters.**_

* * *

_**Interlude 1: Garrus**_

_Her chest was rising and falling with quick, heavy breaths as she laid next to him, staring up into the stars above them through the skylight windows of the Normandy. She held his hand in hers, her five fingers oddly intertwined with his three. Her cheeks were colored with the effort of their shared evening. Her body was bare. They were laying over the covers, stark naked. She was all soft curves and sinewy muscles. He was rough angles and physically her opposite. Alice Shepard smiled and laughed, and she turned her head toward him._

"_Remind me again why we weren't doing this years ago." She declared, her subtle way of telling him how much she enjoyed their private evenings together._

_He reached out and gathered her up to his chest, her soft skin oddly soothing against the rough texture of his chest plates. She obliged him and did not struggle as he pulled her along, his talons lightly brushing her back. He could see where his care sometimes failed him, shallow cuts he left all over her body. She never said a word about it. Her implants took care of the pain and the bleeding, and she didn't care._

"_I can't remember," Garrus purred to her in amusement._

_Really, he did remember. They weren't sleeping together during the fight against Saren and the geth because she was human and he was turian, and then there was Kaidan Alenko. If these feelings and desires they had for each other were truly buried for all of that time, they had stayed that way because they were scared. She had died, and he very nearly would have done the same._

_Impending death and death itself have a way of sorting out your priorities._

"_You know what's great?" She started as she nuzzled her forehead to the right side of his chest, " The fact that a turian's natural lubricant is a stimulant, and I'm not allergic to dextro proteins."_

"_That good, huh?" He looked down at her, and she raised her head to return the stare._

"_Oh yes. I still don't understand how it works on me but I do not give a flying fuck. Humans don't do that," she said._

"_I'm glad my uh.. natural talents... are leaving an impression."_

"_God, I'm going to miss you. This entire thing with the Alliance is bullshit." One arm wrapped high around his chest and she hung onto him tightly._

_He tensed at the thought of her giving herself up to whatever they planned to subject her to once they reached the Citadel. Most of the crew was already gone. Miranda and Jacob left immediately after Alice Shepard had flipped the proverbial bird to the Illusive Man. Thane had admitted himself to one of the hospitals the last time they were on the Citadel. Samara left to do whatever Justicars do. Mordin said his goodbyes the last time they were in Salarian space, and Tali returned to the Migrant Fleet. Grunt went to Tuchanka, and Legion was left in geth space so that the Alliance wouldn't try to take him._

_It was just Garrus and Jack who stayed aboard with the rest of the non-Cerberus loyal crew, and Garrus had very clear incentive. Jack had nowhere else to go._

"_You don't have to go, you know.."_

"_Sure I do. If I don't, they'll just chase me. Maybe it will give me a chance to try and convince them about the Reapers... Where will you go? And Jack, god what will Jack do?" Shepard's voice took on a worried tone at the thought of the biotic._

"_She'll figure it out.. and maybe, I'll go home."_

"_To Palaven?" _

"_Yes. I haven't seen my family in a long time.."_

"_Sounds like a good plan to me," She murmured, voice low._

_Her fingers dug into the plates that covered his spine, alerting him to the fact she did not want to do any of this. They had a good run for a few weeks after the Collector base was destroyed, and it was almost over. Things could never stay simple for long, and she clearly hated it._

"_It's been fun, Garrus."_

* * *

Garrus Vakarian,

I hope that this is the right address so I can help my daughter be at peace when she is on Earth. Alice wanted me to tell you that she misses you very much. I know I might get in trouble for passing this on since she is not allowed personal communications outside of visitors from the Alliance coming to her room, but I think its important.

I remember meeting you at her funeral and being very curious about the turian whose voice kept quivering in that weird, mourning noise your kind make. I know my daughter was never xenophobic, but a C-Sec agent of any sort on her ship seemed strange to me. When I visited her today, she told me all of her stories of you, including the day she died.

I talked to her that day too. She called me at 06:00 on a voice call, and we discussed Kaidan Alenko. Alice never gave me a name, but she told me there was this very good friend she could not stop thinking about. She said that Kaidan felt distant to her, like whatever had kindled before Ilos was, in fact, really just two people afraid to die and eager for comfort. She said that Kaidan was the safe choice, and that this friend she kept thinking about was who she really wanted. He just wasn't 'what you'd call a normal choice of sex partner'.

At her funeral, it never clicked to me that she was talking about the turian who never left her side when she was out there making me proud to be her mother. I didn't say a word or ask anyone about it, and I felt guilty that my daughter never got to live knowing the embrace of that person she so desperately seemed to want. She regretted her relationship with Major Alenko.

So in a way, I am glad that Cerberus rebuilt my daughter not just because I am a selfish mother, and missed my child dearly when she was gone. I am glad they rebuilt her to give her a second chance, and I infinitely believe in second chances for people to live the lives they wanted, free of burdens they accidentally walked into.

I'm glad her father is gone so that he rolls in his grave knowing his daughter stares up at the skies and thinks about going back to a turian man. Alan was a xenophobe without a doubt, and I can't imagine he would be very happy with all of this. He hated turians.

My own thoughts out of the way and probably boring anyone checking my messages, Alice hates being stuck here away from all of her friends like you. They don't do much for her but give her a nice bed and good food. She could care less about those things. I think she's starting to grumble about the Alliance as much as she grumbles about the Illusive Man.

There's a certain level of devotion I see in her when she thinks about you that isn't common in human relationships. Things are often tentative and careful between lovers in our apart is hard on them. Unbridled and passionate affairs often end badly. We often don't fight next to each other for so long before trying to love one another. We don't know each other so deeply as you two know each other. It takes a very long time. Battle makes that go faster. The way you two have lived since you've known each other makes this whole thing very unique, aside from the fact that she is human and you are turian.

I don't know what is going to happen, but I believe her about the Reapers. If she cannot get out of here before they come, and they tear us all apart because the Alliance couldn't face her and look her in the eyes, then I am glad she got to know the closeness you two have.

But I hope with everything I have that they let her do what she does best. I hope she stops them. I hope she gets to have the chance to lead a normal life, or as normal as it gets anymore. She doesn't have much more fight in her, but she'll muster it for the Reapers. But more than those things, I hope she just has a chance to live in peace with you. She's never known peace. She was born on an Alliance vessel. She was raised on an Alliance Vessel. She's never known anything but the human call to service.

Take care of yourself,

Hannah Shepard

* * *

_On regular occasions, Crassia had caught Garrus staring into the sky during few peaceful times he was able to spend with his family on Palaven, and it was no different now that they were on Menae. During the lulls of combat, she could see him from her medical post, rifle resting against his shoulder and he stared upward. The first day had been rough. She had seen many men whose souls were commended to the spirits, but she had enough sense to see that Garrus was not thinking of the dead as exploding dreadnaughts and failed fighters fell from the space above the moon._

_He looked like he was waiting. The first time she saw him like that on Menae she couldn't even guess, but on the second day it all started to make sense. She waited to take her break from the medical camps until she saw him go for his meal, and she followed her nephew intently._

_"You're looking for the Normandy aren't you?" She asked rather bluntly, taking her place behind him in the line._

_He looked over his shoulder, the scarred side of his face stark in contrast to his polished armor," I would like to see her."_

_"Have you heard anything else since that message her mother got through to you?" Crassia stayed close, trying to be as vague as possible. She didn't know how he'd like it to be handled, but she was curious. The whole idea of him with a human, much less The Commander Shepard, was intriguing to her._

_She could see the wear in his eyes. Fighting the Reaper ground forces was taking its toll on him. His life had not been claimed, but all of his rest and energy had been stolen._

_"Nothing. I don't even know if my response made it to her."_

_Crassia took her rations in hand as she followed Garrus away from the line, to take a seat and get off their feet," Its a shame they won't even allow her personal communications. Its like she is a prisoner. Stuck on her home planet when everything is happening.."_

_"She had never been, you know. She was born on a ship, and she always lived on a ship."_

_"Pity her first visit to the home world of her people was for _that_. I hope.. you two get to see each other before the end of this." _

_Garrus didn't vocalize a thing, but his mandibles flared with a less obvious show of his feelings. Crassia already knew how much he missed her. The whole thing had surprised her when he sat down with her on a hot summer day on Palaven and told her every story. She was glad to have heard it when it was over, never once questioning what made him want to tell her. Perhaps it was the pall of his mother's death, the last conversation he had with her had been entirely about Shepard. Felidra hadn't cared that she was human. She just smiled, hardly there from the degeneration of her disease, but she was conscious enough to tell him she was happy for him. Hearing it from his mother was enough for him. He was infinitely more comfortable, but still he never said a word to his father about his romance with the human Commander._

_"I wish I knew how you feel, Garrus. I've never been that close to someone, or had that kind of a second chance."_

_He leaned forward against the table and took a bite of what they had been allowed," I was shocked to see her the first time, after she was back.," A vague way to describe Cerberus rebuilding her," I caught sight of her in my scope. I almost shot her between the eyes."_

_"Then you would have had no help! And no bottle of brandy waiting for you in the medbay when you woke up, if they still got to you without her!"_

_He remembered that fondly, waking with Doctor Chakwas nearby, holding out a bottle of turian brandy to him, declaring it a gift from Shepard to be shared with her at his earliest convenience. She promised you drinks, didn't she, Chakwas had said. That was the first chance he really had to think about what dying and being brought back two years later must have felt like, what she remembered. She had remembered her promise of getting drinks on the Citadel, so surely she remembered the actual dying part..._

_"I miss her, aunt Crassia."_

_"I know. Spirits willing, you'll get another chance."_

_They spent the rest of their meal in silence before he was called unceremoniously away from the camp by General Corinthus. Informed of Victus' new position, he realized that he was likely one of the few from that side of the fighting who could make it back and forth. Corinthus told him that an escort had come to take the Primarch from the war summit, no names mentioned. _

_And when he got there, it took everything he had not to move past the general and scoop up the armored human female who had arrived at the communication terminal. She lit up just at the sound of his voice, and when they shook hands the touched lingered a little long. Her eyes were loaded with words she wanted to say, but they both knew that it wasn't the time. The spirits had been willing._

_He remembered the rest in pieces._

_Their first fight with a brute had been difficult. The blasted thing had chosen to chase him for most of the fight, the soldier known as Vega fighting off the husks while Shepard focused unyieldingly on bringing down the brute in question. When it fell, he saw her run to him and kneel down next to him._

_"Are you okay?" She asked in her one toned voiced._

_"I'm good, Shepard."_

_"Good," she pressed her forehead against his in a purely turian show of affection, quick and passionate, and she snuck away without Vega ever seeing._

_She showed such a feeling to him when she could throughout all of their fighting, concerned eyes snapping to him during firefights, ducking down next to him behind cover. They took their long ranged shots together, rifles next to each other. Vega did well to take all of the heat off of them, and their old symbiotic style of combat was easily renewed._

_He could smell her in the air when she was close, a mix of sweat, gun oil, and some flowery smell she called cherry blossoms. The smell lingered in his nose even as they were on the shuttle back to the Normandy with the Primarch in tow. She stole gazes at every chance she could get. She came to him before even dealing with the problems on the Normandy, and returned again when everything seemed to calm._

_"Too busy with your calibrations?" She said quietly as she came up behind him, door to the battery closing._

_"Not anymore," he almost purred as he turned to her._

_She embraced him welcomingly, disregarding the harsh angles of his armor, the tension she carried easing. Shepard clearly hadn't been satisfied with their earlier conversation, not at all content to let it go from there. She could have asked him to her quarters, but no. Alice returned to him at the first chance she could get, likely mulling over her words when she made her rounds through the ship._

_"Thank god you were there. I would have turned Palaven over on itself to make sure you were okay, Garrus.. I know I said it earlier, but I missed you."_

_He hummed briefly as he held her close," I am glad you came, Alice... I suppose in some way I was waiting for you."_

_"Is it bad that I agreed so quickly to bring back the Primarch just to see if I could really find you?" her voice was high, a sign of her humor._

_"Well, I am always where the fight is." _

_"No rockets to the face this time. At least I can sleep soon."_

_"Just a brute or two slicing through my shields. No rockets, or new scars for you to fawn over," he purred to her as his gloved hands roamed her back, finding the bumps of her vertebrae._

_She let out a relaxed breath, the pressure he put on her back rubbing the tired muscles over her spine," I could go either way, new scars or no."_

_"Good to know," He began," Do you... have any of those oils or lotions Mordin gave you for.. us?"_

_"Would any responsible turian-loving human leave the Citadel without refreshing her nightstand drawers?" A wicked grin passed over her feature as she looked up at him. It fled quickly, perhaps at the implications of their combined statements," I know that seems like assuming a lot for me to just.. get those things again. I didn't even know if we would find you. I just hoped."_

_"I like hearing that. Liara told me Kaidan was injured on Mars... Was he any better than he was on Horizon?" Garrus asked._

_"Not really. He kept bringing up Cerberus, like I would know what they were doing on Mars. And then he got his ass kicked. We had to leave him on the Citadel," she sighed._

_"Damn. And nothing else?" _

_She knew what he was digging for right away. He must have been worried Kaidan would try to draw her away, not that she blamed him at all. It was easy not to think about her old lover the last time she was on the Normandy, Kaidan's rejection of what she was doing ringing in her ears._

_"He asked me if I was still the same woman that he loved after everything Cerberus did to me. I told him that I am still the same person, but am I really?" She chuckled after a moment," I am less scared of certain things now, like being true to what I really want. I don't lie about personal things anymore.."_

"_None of us are the same people we were when we were chasing Saren," Garrus paused, considering his words. He shifted his weight around, tossing his head lazily to the right, "And you died. Tends to change your priorities."_

"_I wonder if he knows about us," she said quietly, lifting her head to look at him. He saw her eyes wander, likely looking at his scars._

"_Spirits only knows where he would have learned it from."_

"_I guess I'll find out. Checked my messages. He wants me to come by Huerta Memorial. We're already punched in for the Citadel, and Thane wants to see me too.. I have a question, Garrus," Shepard said._

_"hm?"_

_"Any chances to blow off steam when you were home? Your position must have attracted a lot of attention from turian women.."_

_"Plenty of chances," he paused, gauging her reaction. Something in his voice made her brow furrow, or perhaps the words themselves made her uncomfortable," But none of them taken. What about you.. anything closer to home?"_

* * *

Hannah Shepard,

It was the right address, and I miss her too. I don't know how long we have until the Reapers start hitting the homeworlds, but I hope I can see her before then. I never thought I could care for, or respond to, a human as much as I do for her. The galaxy needs her to win this war. Spirits, I need her.

I'm afraid I don't know what to say to all of that, but I am thankful for what Cerberus did to bring her back. She saved my life, and I missed her.

If you get the chance, please let her know that no matter what happens, I'll tear the galaxy apart to be with her when this war comes to a head. We've fought all of the great battles of our lives together, and this one should be no different.

Thank you,

Garrus Vakarian


	6. Chapter 4: The First Wave of Relief

The Good Doctor let out a heavy sigh as he settled into the communications room, considering his options as he thought of dialing into the quantum entanglement communications with Crassia. The volunteers working on the Normandy remained on planet, only he and Tan'Keyell coming back up to the Omen, his personal ship. He came aboard during the night, and when he awoke Crassia's message was given to him. A swell of relief grew in his chest.

Knowing Shepard was alive made him feel incredible. He knew that the call to the medical ship in the Sol system would reveal the rest to him and that it likely wasn't good. There hadn't been much news about the condition of the Citadel, but he had heard from the Normandy's crew that a few of them had seen Shepard in the path of a Reaper's laser at the beam to the Citadel. That alone should have killed her, and only God knew what happened to her aboard the station.

He often tried to bury the worries he always held for her. As a nameless, faceless man, he should not concern himself with the health and happiness of Commander Shepard. Try as one might, you can never completely shed your name, your old identities. He still held on to some old habits. He smoked three cigarettes a day, one in the morning, one at lunch, and one before bed. His favorite alcohol was turian brandy; he wasn't allergic. The Good Doctor found comfort in a good bowl of chili. Two of his three habitual desires passed through blood, apparently.

The Good Doctor shut out all personal feelings on the situation. He reached out to the console and connected with the Normandy, insistant upon the thought that the turians on planet deserved to hear from Crassia when he used the QEC.

[Normandy, this is the Good Doctor. Do you copy?]

[ We read you loud and clear. Any news on the Commander?] Joker responded.

The Good Doctor leaned back in his seat, considering his words carefully. [ Yes, but if you could, please inform the Vakarians that I'm sending a shuttle for them. I'll be making a communication connection to one of their family members. I'd at least like to have Garrus come up.]

[Anything I can tell the others? ]

[ Shepard is alive. Don't say anything to the crew until the Vakarians are on the shuttle. I want Garrus to hear it from his aunt.] There was a feminine, delighted gasp from the Normandy's end of things. Someone had heard, and he hoped she wasn't gossipy.

[Sure thing, sir. He's going to be relieved. We all are.]

[ No doubt, Flight Lieutenant. Take it easy down there, Omen out.]

* * *

Liara left the bridge of the Normandy trying to control her wide smile after overhearing Joker's conversation with the Good Doctor. She was naturally suspicious of him, her place as the Shadow Broker making her uneasy around faceless, nameless people. The asari had busied herself through the early morning gathering the thoughts of the crew on him, and nearly all were distrusting. Those who came aboard from his ships claimed to once feel the same, but he saved their lives. He gave them hope.

There was a collection of seven ships in the skies above the planet, filled to the brim with refugees and volunteers of many different backgrounds and skills. The engineers told Liara of how he went about the galaxy repaying favors to friends, helping ex-Cerberus operatives out of their binds, and organizing these ships for the protection of those inside. Some of those aboard had been their for years. Others came and went as they pleased, like Crassia Vakarian. Remila said she had learned through the people onboard the ships that Crassia had known the Good Doctor for the better part of a decade, and arguably, she had been there from the start.

Two ships had gone to the Sol System, and three others were at the Relay. That meant the Doctor had gathered twelve ships and saved enough people to have a full crew on each ship and make room for their families. Those aboard the Normandy that came from the Good Doctor's care said they were infinitely lucky. They were removed from the darkness of the Reaper invasion, and they were given a migrant life to rebuild the ways home. One medical ship and one engineering ship remained with the group. The rest, apart from the Good Doctor's Omen, acted as miniature live ships, effectively a migrant fleet of many space faring races.

Liara went down to the crew deck to locate Garrus and his family, passing by Solana and Aurelius in the mess. The asari made a B-line straight toward the main battery, and she felt marginally shocked to find he was not there. Garrus usually went into his work very early in the day cycle. She stood in the door way considering the console in front of her before she turned around and returned to the turians eating their rations in the morning.

"Have either of you seen Garrus?" She asked.

"I have not," Aurelius noted," not since we spoke yesterday. Is something amiss?"

"No. The Good Doctor is sending a shuttle down for the three of you. Said something about speaking to family," She turned her gaze toward the elevator, considering where she might find the gunnery officer.

"Aunt Crassia is safe then! it'll be nice to see her," Solana smiled as she stood," I can help you look for Garrus. Could you go make sure the shuttle waits, dad?"

The elder turian grumbled slightly, gaze fixed on his food before he nodded," I can."

Liara smiled quietly as she looked between the two of them. "I'm sure he can't be far. He must be catching up on his rest."

"Where does he sleep?" Solana asked.

Liara froze on her words there, considering for a moment if Garrus had ever spoken to his family about Shepard. She knew that he stayed with her for a long time in her cabin. He hadn't occupied his crew quarters in weeks, maybe even months. She considered her words carefully.

"I am uncertain. It should not be hard to find him," she began to walk away from the table, Solana following close behind.

Liara went immediately to the elevator, but she could not manage to get into the elevator without the turian female inside with her. Solana seemed to be very aware of the asari's uncertainty and confusion, a soft trill behind her voice as she spoke," You do know where he is don't you?"

"Yes." Liara sighed," I just don't know what he's said to you two."

"Is this about the Commander? Were they lovers?" The two exchanged glances before Liara spoke again.

"Yes. He started to stay in her cabin with her awhile into the war. I am told they became lovers shortly after they were reunited against the Collectors-"

"So he never spoke of it when he was on Palaven? He kept that a secret for that long?" Her brow plate closed in on each other, furrowing.

"They have always lead dangerous lives. Perhaps it felt dangerous just to admit it because of how often their lives were in jeopardy, And they were separated so long," Liara attempted some comfort," and she is human. Relations between your races have not improved much over the years."

Solana hummed slightly as the elevator stopped on the cabin level," Well... I guess that's true. I'd be scared to talk about it with our father."

The doors opened for them and they stepped into the small hallway before the cabin, listening for any sound to indicate movement. Not a noise came from the other side of the door, and Liara hit the panel for the door to slide open. The asari visibly saddened at the sight revealed to them.

Garrus was tangled in the thin sheets and blankets, arms wrapped tightly around one of the pillows. Much of his face was buried in the material, as if he were deeply taking in the scent of it all. His clothing was cast about the room without care, only his armor tended to as usual, piled near Shepard's armor case. And then there was a sight that stood out to her and Solana sharply.

Garrus' visor sat upon the night stand, lying haphazardly over the Kuwasi Visor Shepard had used for the last few years at his reccomendation. Their colors were a sharp contrast, red for the human designed visor, blue for Garrus'. Liara remembered Shepard had chosen not to wear it to Earth, saying it would not protect her in the worst of situations. She said her aim was good enough without it. Like one visor should not be without the other, they seemed inseparable despite their different designs, much like Garrus and the Commander.

"I can't imagine what it must be like for him," Liara whispered as she stared into the room, the earlier confirmation of the doctor's words on her mind. She wanted to scream the good news to the sleeping turian.

* * *

_Things were looking grim._

_The mercenary groups had started to band together, rather conveniently after Sidonis' betrayal. Omega's Archangel found himself all alone, holed up in a fine location. It let him keep his enemy at a distance, striking them down as they came across the bridge. He had a moment to rest, and he took it, closing his eyes and drawing in a breath._

_This had already passed. This was a dream._

_"Garrus?"_

_A voice had called out to him, and when he opened his eyes, Alice Shepard stood in front of him, dressed as casually as he had ever seen her. The tank top she wore did well to show she was still a woman under all of that armor, dog tags proudly displayed against her chest. Her short hair was a mess. Red hair. Blue eyes. White skin, like a polished stone. She was still his Commander, his Alice._

_Not once when they served together did she leave him behind to wonder what was going on during the mission. He was always right next to her with one of the others. They were a damned good team, rifles at the ready, picking different targets, and clearing the field before anyone got close. The one time she chose to go it alone, she could have died._

_And now she was next to him as he relived his time in Omega, a ghostly apparition._

_"Alice."_

_"How are you?" She asked so casually, resting a pale hand on the wall beside him as he waited for the mercs. She had no weapons. She was not there to help him. He noticed her nails were painted. Red. Always red. She was not injured. Shepard never showed how bad things could be._

_"I've been better but... I miss you."_

_"I miss you too... Look like you're in a rough spot up here. We've been here before, haven't we?"_

_"Its worse than you think."_

_She bent down behind cover with him, drawing her knees to her chest._

_There was silence. His surroundings shifted unpleasantly. The room he had holed himself up in faded into darkness, and the only thing illuminated was the human who hid beside him, her eyes cast out to the blackness in front of them. She hummed to herself for a moment, little tunes she used to focus herself in touchy situations._

_"You can't lose hope, Garrus."_

_She reached out and rested a hand on his shoulder, smiling quietly. She waited a moment before leaning toward him, cheek pressing against his arm. Shepard seemed so calm next to him. He needed her to be real. He needed to wake up with her curled against his chest plates, breathing slow._

_"I could use some support," he responded._

_"You'll get it."_

_She was reassuring him that everything would be alright, and yet.. He could not bring himself to believe it. He knew this was a dream, the awakening of his time in Omega perhaps just a mental metaphor for how he felt right now. He felt lost, unable to search for her. It was the third time they were separated. He was powerless thusfar to change it. Knowing she was in the Sol System, effectively alone, left him uneasy._

_"I'll take your word for it, Shepard."_

* * *

"Garrus, wake up!"

He snapped awake at the sound of his sister's voice interrupted his peculiar dream. Garrus set his jaw and let out a territorial growl as he opened his eyes. Solana didn't falter from sitting on the edge of the bed, her voice undercoated with worry. She had come to find him in Shepard's cabin, where he had taken to sleeping. He knew she must have made sense of it right away.

Solana was the only one in the room. Liara left her to it, feeling that it was not her place to be there, to see Garrus as vulnerable as he was.

"You miss her a lot, don't you?" She said softly, watching her brother realize himself.

He let go of the pillow Shepard often used, finding that he had held onto it through the night, breathing in her scent. There was no sign more obvious of his grief or distress at his separation from Shepard. Garrus sat up, attempting to realign his nightshirt over his chest plates. He only grumbled to his sister, a wordless admittance.

"Why didn't you say anything yesterday when you were talking to dad and I? Is it embarrassing to be-"

"No," he interrupted with a snap," Never embarrassing. I don't want him to reject her."

"She's a hero, even if she is human. If she were turian, it would be more than an honor for her to join our family. Besides, it isn't his choice. He can be unhappy all he likes but Aunt Crassia is the one who gets to have the opinion that matters."

"And what do you think?"

"I've never met her, and besides, you're acting like dad did when mother finally passed away from her disease. He curled up in bed for a day or two, remember?" She said as she stood up, perhaps giving him space.

"I remember."

"Well, the Good Doctor is sending a shuttle for us to talk to Aunt Crassia on the QEC on his ship. Maybe she has some news for you. Don't start mourning before you even know what happened to her," Solana started to leave the cabin, looking over her shoulder briefly before heading out the door," We'll meet you outside and hold the shuttle."

Garrus lifted himself from the bed, looking about for his casual attire. On any other morning, when Alice would be next to him, he could usually find it all over the couches. Instead, his clothing was all about the floor in his hurry to find rest, armor piled up near Shepard's armor case. He began to change, his eyes focusing on his visor. He debated leaving it there, drapped over the red visor that was it's human twin.

If I wrote the names of every crew member that was important to me onto my visor, I'd need a pretty big visor. So I have a wall for the dead, and there's only one name carved into my visor. Can you guess? Of course it's Garrus Vakarian, because you're important to me... and I'll do anything to make sure you make it out of this war. That's why I carved it. So when I touch it, I have another reminder.

Garrus sighed as he thought of what Shepard had told him in that first night they spent together aboard the Normandy after Menae. He found the space to repeat his own form of the thought to his own visor, and he had spent much of the night running the pad of his thumb over the letters engraved: Alice Shepard. What could have been done to change the outcome? Would anything have kept her near, perhaps saved her life? Was she even alive?

He pondered over these things even as he secured his armor, the habitual reach for his visor stopped when his fingers found the edge of Shepard's visor still laying there. He stared, shaken from his thoughts, and then he retracted his hand. He would leave it there until she came home.

After all, wasn't the Normandy home?

* * *

Solana walked out of the airlock, eyes falling onto the pair of Quarians exchanging words near the shuttle. She continued her scan, finding her father lending a hand to the human soldiers working on the hull. They had left to get to it early, she remembered, and she was surprised to see Aurelius doing what he could to help them. He was passing excess sheet metal to them to help with the repairs. He was giving it to the one she knew as Kaidan.

The Quarian words that passed through her ears spoke of their home world, friends shared between Tali'Zorah and Tan'Keyell. They knew each other through others, Solana gathered. A lot of quarian names they threw around in conversation she did not recognize, but they seemed to be members of the ships in the atmosphere above the. Tali seemed shocked to hear some of those names, little gasping sounds coming from her helmet.

She saw Liara settled down on a crate not far from the air lock, a data pad in hand taking all of the asari's attention. Solana wondered briefly about what engrossed her attention so, but she put it aside as she stepped into the shuttle and settled down within it, not a word said to the quarians at the doors. Her father followed not far behind her.

"Did you two find him?"

"Yes. He'll be on his way soon, I'm sure." Solana tried to mask and hold back any other knowledge she had, u such an action was hard when one's father is an old C-Sec agent.

Aurelius' brow plates raised in curiosity as he leaned back in his own seat," I hope he enjoyed sleeping in. So many others in the crew have been working hard for several hours."

Garrus stepped out of the airlock with a slow step, largely ignoring his surroundings. Most of those who were outside turned to watch him, noticed the absence of his visor. Liara's gaze met those of the others, as if the asari silently asked for further silence, no questions asked of the turian. Tan'Keyell moved from his stance beside Tali and entered the shuttle just ahead of Garrus. Silence ruled outside of the shuttle until the shuttle door closed, and then the chatter began as within Garrus settled down with his family.

Silence remained prevalent within the shuttle as it left the surface of the planet and began its course toward the Good Doctor's vessel. Solana said not a word out of fear of leaving accidental hints for her father about what troubled Garrus, and she assumed that her brother was still in no mood to talk. The occasional flare of his mandibles conveyed that to her well enough.

"I.. Hope they have found her," Aurelius said after a moment.

His eyes locked upon his son and they found themselves in a heated stare. Guesses and uncertainties floated in the air before Garrus finally said," Me too." The sorrowful undertone in his subvocals spoke the unsaid words, and Aurelius leaned back against his seat.

"What kind of woman is she?"

"She is kind and strong. Commander Shepard would have done anything to-"

"Not things I can learn from the vids, Garrus. I mean who she really was," Aurelius interrupted him.

Solana watched her brother's expression soften, a tension disappearing from him. Had he been afraid of his father's disapproval for no reason?

"Well, the first two still apply," Garrus shifted as he tried to gather his thoughts," after missions she visited everyone on the vessel, gathered their opinions. She made sure we were all comfortable and happy despite the war, so much so that she forgot about herself. She did that a lot... Forgot to take care of herself."

"Sounds like someone I know," his father quipped in response, smirking.

"Like I said, she did that for me. It was only right I return the favor."

"It must have been taxing, having the whole galaxy on her shoulders," Solana said as she looked between them.

"Good thing she had a Vakarian to carry her when it all got too heavy for her fragile human back," Aurelius said with humor in his voice.

It was not an insult, but rather a hidden affirmation. Garrus, surprised by his father's subtle ways of telling him his son had no secrets, felt the first wave of relief rush through him. He hadn't rejected her, even if he did not openly admit to accepting her. Aurelius Vakarian was a damn good C-Sec agent in his day. Of course, he shouldn't have thought he could hide such a thing.

"When we are aboard the Doctor's Vessel, we'll ask after her right away. It will clear your mind to know."

* * *

**I wanted to do the whole shindig of the Vakarian family talking over the QEC, and Garrus finding out about Shepard, all in this chapter as well, but I realized that in itself could get long. So instead, I bring to you this nice little chapter. Thank you so much for the reviews, alerts, and hits. It means a lot to me to see that people enjoy the story. It's my first attempt at a Mass Effect fic! :D  
**


	7. Chapter 5: The Wounded

_**Whoa. This turned into a pretty long chapter. I think I'm happy with it. Thanks for the alerts, hits, and reviews sharing your thoughts. It motivates me to work on this a bit more.**_

* * *

The lights above her blinded the Commander as she returned to consciousness. The oxygen mask was still strapped over her mouth, feeding her the air that she required. She found it easier to breathe, and she began to look around the room. The monitor near her head recorded her heartbeat, blood pressure, and blood oxygen. She was looking good by the numbers, she thought. The numbers seemed normal. She didn't want to know what she looked like.

Only Crassia was in the room with her, settled in a seat to her right. Shepard's movement alerted her, and she smiled down at her. It appeared to her that the turian was somewhat surprised to see her awake, but she wasted no time settling in a chair next to the Commander's bed and maintaining a welcoming, comforting air.

"Morning. I have some good news for you," She rested a hand on the edge of the bed.

That was exactly what the Commander needed to hear. Anything good would lighten her heart in the face of her fears and dreams. Her worries awoke fresh with her, silent only when her dreams filled with the voices of the dead. New faces haunted her, synthetic faces. The geth and EDI questioned her ceaselessly about how their sacrifice could be justified.

"What?" Shepard coughed, dry throat impeding her speech.

Crassia helped her remove the oxygen mask and into a sitting position as she spoke," The man who funds and takes care of these ships found the Normandy. No casualties. Everyone made it out okay."

"Oh thank God. I...thought about them when I was laying in the rubble on the Citadel. I'm glad they're okay. Except for... EDI."

"EDI?"

"An unshackled AI that was part of the ship for awhile. I think that the Crucible must have destroyed her too," Shepard looked down into a glass of water offered to her by Crassia, sipping on it to soothe her throat as soon as she could.

Shepard's joy at hearing her crew made it out safely fell immediately to her subdued regret over the ramifications of her choice. In a roundabout way, she killed EDI. She took from Joker exactly what Shepard chased for herself, a happy ending. Was it fair for her to stay alive for Garrus, for her happy ending with him, while others could not be so lucky?

"If you're up to it, I can bring you into the communication room when the doctor calls. He mentioned my family would be there, including Garrus. It would do you both good to see each other."

"I'd like that. It might clear my head, make me feel better." Her voice weakened under the weight of her quiet regrets.

"What's wrong? Your scans look much-"

"I feel like shit, but I guess I can't stop thinking about if there was anything else I could have done. I've destroyed so much,"she sighed softly.

"Worse things could have happened than the destruction of the geth and the other synthetics. You stopped the Reapers. That's a good thing," Crassia tried to sooth her.

"I went in thinking this all would kill me, and I had choices. Better choices. Ways to make things better for everyone, and even though I knew what waited for me, I still chose to destroy all of it. I killed the Reapers, and the geth, and EDI.." Her voice cracked, but that was as far as she let her thoughts go.

"If people blame you for that, then they are selfish. You have just as much right as anyone to want to live and have a normal life. You already sacrificed so much, Commander. Why should anyone expect you to give your life too?"

"I said I would give anything to stop the Reapers."

"And you did. There's been some talk from engineers about using the Reaper corpses in the various star systems to help repair the Mass Relays. Its not all bad."

Shepard just sipped on her water, even the action of swallowing difficult for her. She hoped her silence spoke for herself. No comfort really came from knowing that the technology of the fallen synthetics found use in rebuilding the bridges between systems. If anything, she prayed for swift repair so she could be reunited with her crew. She needed something, someone to hold onto, and nothing had yet to reveal itself in the brief moments she was conscious aboard the little medical ship so unfamiliar to her.

"I'll go wait for the call. When Garrus is there, I will come find you," Crassia patted the mattress with a gentle sigh, looking at the broken Commander as she stood up.

"If its okay, I'd like to be alone when I talk to him. I'm worried about his wounds. I know Doctor Chakwas does quick, good work.. but still."

"I'd expect nothing less," the turian began as she moved toward the door," We can still get readings from you to keep track of your condition."

Shepard leaned against the pillow and the elevated upper end of the medbay mattress with a heaving sort of sigh. She tried no to cry. Commander Shepard never cried, she told herself. She knew she would see tears before the day was done, but she refused to cry where just anyone could see her. Only one person ever saw her at her weakest anymore, and even during those times, she had never allowed herself to cry.

Of course, she did not have her typical comforts. The quiet hum distinct to the Normandy all about the ship did not exist, and it could not help her to feel at home on this ship. Her dear old friends were not there to laugh and joke with her. Those in the Sol system were too busy to come to her, or perhaps they did not know she survived. No three fingered hand grasped her own, employing an equation of fingers to fit just right with her five. If Garrus was there, she would never be alone in that room. If any of them were there, they would sit with her until they could stand no more. She would have no time for doubt, even without an impending firefight to keep her focused.

This ship was not home. Its people were too distant, too far from who she thought of as her friends. Crassia made the effort, but she hardly knew her. It was like her six month stay with the Alliance all over again. No one familiar could sit with her for long. The Commander stewed alone in her thoughts.

Crassia allowed her feet to lead her on an automatic path to the communications room aboard her vessel, thoughts left behind in the medbay. She worried for the Commander, seeing signs in her she often associated with old veterans. The war of her life was over. She no longer had the penultimate enemy with whom she could grapple, nothing left to distract her. She knew that this was harder for humans, so centric on saving everyone they could. Now she could do no more than think of the casualties she couldn't save.

She had to find something to help her patient find something she could hold onto, a new friendship, anything. It became a silently made promise as she entered the door and settled into the QEC circle upon the floor. She decided not to wait. She called Alan Shepard right away.

* * *

"Alan, I wish you were here. I'm worried about her. I know Miranda will do her best and Doctor Farris is a wonderful, but she looks so fragile," Crassia said, her voice altered slightly by the QEC," And she is so conflicted. I don't know if she can really live with all of this, especially separate from her crew."

"i'm beginning to wish I made it through to the Sol system as well. I feel restless, unable to be there to help her.I can't imagine what she's thinking. It was an oversight on my part not to send a reliable psychologist for her to help her through some of her thoughts," The doctor sighed as he leaned back in his seat, helmet resting on his knee. His scarred face was bared to Crassia, grey hair a mess from always being hidden underneath the metal cage." What happened down there will stick for a long time."

"She hasn't said much when she has been awake, but I can tell it hurts her to think of it. You humans look at war like you can save everything. She's on the verge of tears over geth. Geth, Alan! She killed hundreds, maybe even thousands fighting Saren and Sovereign, and yet she feels sorry for the ones that died because of the Crucible."

"It must be different to her. These weren't combatants, they were allies. Millions of allies dead from her actions. A lot of people have died for this war, and though the Geth are a large portion of the casualties... I am certain she will second guess what she did," The doctor said," Is she awake now?"

"Yes. I told her my family was coming to your ship to speak with me, and I suggested she come in to see Garrus. Doctor Farris isn't so happy with it, but we can move her without any trouble. They need to see each other," the turian said.

"I agree with you. He seems far more quiet and subdued than you explained him as. I'd like to meet the Garrus she fell in love with at some point."

"The first few days he was on Palaven with us, he was pretty quiet. I didn't think much of it at first, but when he told me about her, I started to think it had something to do with her. He needs a distraction, some kind o motivation."

"Then I will find away. There's been some talk from the engineers that a well tuned fuel reserve might have the strength to make it to the Sol system, and we are close enough that I am starting to believe it possible," He trailed off as he tapped a finger against the lowest curve of his scar.

"Is there someone on the ships that could do it?" Crassia asked.

"I think Ariadne can find the tools and start the process. She is the one who brought it up."

Ariadne was a human engineer, ex-Alliance and ex-Cerberus like most humans the doctor took in. She was slow to adjust to the diversity of the crew on one of the engineering ships, but when her xenophobia finally gave in, Ariadne became an avid supporter of her crew mates. She started to enjoy the the spread of ideas between races in the environment the doctor had created.

"I hope she can manage. The sooner, the better."

"Mmm," He mumbled," Oh, by the way... how is the little one? That turian babe who's mother passed birthing him on your ship."

Crassia gasped as if she had some sort of revelation, but responded nonetheless," The crew likes him well enough, but no name they give him sticks. Everyone is calling him something different, and especially now when some of them are going planet side, there is no one who wants to keep him for long..."

"He's the child of the ship then, I suppose. Almost like the Commander was as a child, though Hannah and I had time for her."

Disali's voice interrupted them through his omni-tool. [ Doctor, they're onboard. Moving toward the comm room now.]

[Thank you for the warning.] The doctor pulled his helmet over his head, careful to arrange it well, to hide himself from the less familiar.

Crassia's stance took on a less comfortable stance as they waited for the door to open. It took little time for Garrus, Solana, and Aurelius to come through the door as the noise of its gears alerted the doctor and his closer friend in the galaxy.

Her projected image's mandibles spread wide in a smile upon seeing the three of them, and Solana returned the gesture. Aurelius only nodded to her, and his son stood rigid nearby. His tension came from the exact reason he was called.

"Garrus. I'm glad you're doing alright. There was some worry you were hurt badly on the move to the beam."

"Not so bad," He said," My armor burned some. It looked worse than it was. Who told you that?"

She paused on her thought, her mouth plates closing up as she considered how best to say it. The others of her family looked on at her, waiting.

"Shepard told me. She's worried about you."

Garrus relaxed from his rigid stance, an involuntary sound of relief rising up through his throat at the behest of his second set of vocal cords. He folded over briefly, saying an inward thanks to the spirits before he stood up straight again. The relieved sounds his family echoed were not as strong, but rather made to support him.

"How bad is she?" He asked, the relieved sub vocals behind his words.

"Bad enough. She cannot walk on her own, and most of her cybernetic implants will need to be replaced. She's conscious, and otherwise doing alright. Her breathing comes and goes, so we keep her on an oxygen mask... she's doing well enough to visit with you, if you'd like."

"Did you even have to ask?"

"Of course not, but I thought I would anyway-ah, I am assuming something, though."

Aurelius made a noise something like a scoff, tossing his head back lightly," There are no secrets anymore, Crassia. I know."

"How?" She asked her brother.

"Call it a gut feeling from a C-Sec agent with nothing better to investigate."

The doctor held back a laugh," Well, at least its out in the air. I'm sure you'll get a chance to meet her soon enough."

Crassia turned to the right in the middle of their conversation, a face outside of the circle trying to speak with her," Could you bring her in, Miranda?... Thank you. Watch her right leg. It's the worst of the two."

She returned to the conversation without so much as a pause," She'll be in soon. I didn't expect her to be awake for awhile, but I suppose its good she woke when she did."

They talked of little things after that, waiting for Miranda to return with Shepard. Garrus told a few fresh stories from the war effort, speaking of things that highlighted the Commander's strength and style of command, thing that would matter to turians that might be considering a new clan member. He talked of what she did for the Primarch on Tuchanka, how she returned to the Alliance to face trial despite the protection she should have received as a spectre. These were honorable qualities, helping a Comrade to die well in battle, heeding the call of her military beyond other doctor stayed silent and patient through it all, a listener that would never otherwise be there for such a conversation. Crassia never shooed the doctor because she knew the truth about the masked man who sat by. Aurelius looked to him often during this time that they had, and Solana made subvocal tones of questioning. Even Garrus seemed uncertain.

* * *

Shepard waited to be brought to Garrus. She had lifted herself with great trouble and dangled her legs from the side of the bed, hands gripping the edges as she looked out to the world outside the windows. The crew was diverse, passing here or there with data pads and supplies, disappearing down a stairwell or through a door. There was a single child she saw, a very small turian cradled in the arms of a less busy looking asari, the deep red off his plates contrasted to her blue skin. Shepard knew right away the thing she never heard. The boy must be orphaned. The asari looked disinterested in him, and he let out little cries that sounded unhappy.

Miranda interrupted her field of vision as she passed by with a wheelchair. Shepard pushed the child into the back of her mind as she prepared for her old friend to enter the room and take her where she wanted to be. She wanted to see the only person she had ever really loved, even if it was only through a QEC.

She looked down at herself, the plastic braces all over her stabilizing her bones. Her right leg was bound below and above the knee, allowing her some movement in her joint. She tried not to move her leg, noting only her calf on her left leg was braced on a similar manner. She could not bend at the chest, a full cast supporting her ribs and her back. They made her so stiff.

The motor of the medbay door announced Miranda's arrival, and the disapproval in her voice was obvious as she came toward Shepard," You should be laying back, with your legs straight out on the bed. Were you trying to get up?"

"No. I just wanted to see what was out there. Staring at the wall is uncomfortable." Shepard said with a sigh.

Miranda didn't waste the effort to physically lift the Commander, using her biotics to move her with less trouble," I can't believe Doctor Farris agreed to letting you do this. We have to do your first surgery tonight.. and keeping you off of oxygen might make it difficult.."

"I'll try not to talk too long, Miranda."

"Don't worry about it. They seem to think it will help you. I just want to get this done as fast as possible."

"Me too, but I want to see him."

They started out of the room then, Miranda pushing her along gingerly toward the comm room. The former Cerberus agent took pains to make sure Shepard stayed comfortable, and that surprised her. She didn't think Miranda had it in her to be a caring sort of doctor.

"We're going to give you a few days between surgeries on your implants, to make recovery easier. Depending on the severity, it may be a little longer. Some of them are near broken bones, so it might be those that are worked on first."

"I noticed there are a lot of casts."

"You broke a lot of bones, Shepard. Your arms were taken care of by a new bone weave over the fracture. You're lucky to be alive."

"I know."

* * *

"Miranda already sent the files to you, sir. We knew you'd want to consult- oh, look who it is," Crassia stepped to the side and the QEC slowly introduced the forms of Miranda and Shepard.

The Commander looked like a wreck. She looked like someone who should have been dead. Her arms were wrapped in bandages discolored with the application of medi-gel. The skin weave revealed in some places on her upper arms did not glow. Her face was still cut, still bruised. She appeared held together by various casts supporting her bones, and she heaved a heavy breath as she surveyed the group.

"Hi.. Wish I looked better for this. Didn't know your family would still be here when I got in, Garrus," she tried to sound cheerful, but it came out weak and painful.

"You look fine, Shepard," Miranda touched the Commander's shoulder briefly before she disappeared from the range of the QEC. Crassia followed not too long after. The chatter that came through from them as they left sounded like something about surgeries, plans for taking care of their patient.

Garrus moved closer to the image, examining her as he huffed out a breath," I'm just glad to see you alive. I couldn't care less if you looked like you'd been ravaged by a Thresher Maw."

"I have had that happen, actually. And I looked better than this," She laughed, and winced immediately," Oh, remind me not to do that."

The doctor stood from his seat after a moment, extending his arm in a motion urging Solana and Aurelius from the room. He remained silent until they seemed to understand, and they turned away." We ought to give them a moment, don't you think?"

"Wait- Who are you?" Shepard called after them," I mean. The guy in the quarian mask. I have a feeling I know who you two are..."

They stopped near the door, Aurelius and Solana looking to the doctor. It seemed they all waited for him to say something ground breaking, or at least to identify himself. He made a sound that might have been a chuckle, tilting his head to the right. He had no intention of telling her anything he did not have to say. He intended to remain nameless.

"I'm the man who saved your life, by extension. That's all that matters. Be glad you have some time to speak to him, Shepard," He moved past Garrus' family and through the door.

"We'll wait for you on the bridge, Garrus. Good to meet you, Commander, however briefly," Aurelius nodded to her.

"I hope we get a chance to really sit down and talk soon.. I'm glad you and your daughter are safe, sir."

"We're glad you're safe too," Solana said as she urged her father out the door, an unmistakable turian smile on her face as she spoke to Shepard.

And then they were alone. Shepard's feigned strength crumbled instantly, and Garrus knew the only thing holding her upright was the cast around her middle. Her following breath sounded like a sob trying to break. She had a way of holding things in, even during the war when it was obvious to him it weighed her down. He regretted not being there to hold her together. The sounds she made felt worse than a bullet through his shields.

"Oh God, I'm so glad you're okay, Garrus.."

"I still wish I had been with you, Shepard. I could have done something.. I could have protected you," He reached for her before remembering she was just a projection. He hated that.

"I don't know. It got pretty ugly at the end. The Reaper killed everyone that ran at the beam but me and Anderson. He got passed it before the last laser, I think. I was never so thankful a Mako blew up in your face so I'd have to throw you back on the Normandy.." Another choked breath.

"I still could have done something."

"Maybe, but they need you Garrus. Who's going to take care of the Normandy if I'm not around?... And EDI... She's gone isn't she?"

She wouldn't look at him now. Whatever she had done, she seemed to know its consequences. He contemplated lying to her about the last part. He could tell it was bothering her.

"Yes. Joker isn't taking it so well."

Shepard sobbed openly at that, pressing her hands to her face," Did I do the right thing, Garrus?"

"Of course you did. You destroyed the Reapers-"

"And the geth. And EDI. I took happiness away from Joker and the quarians. I destroyed all synthetic life and I had choices. I could have taken control of them. The Illusive Man was right, just.. He went about it the wrong way," She looked at him, peeking through her fingers.

"I don't understand, Alice. Would controlling them have really... been better?"

"It would have," she paused," For everyone else. The Catalyst.. Some AI in the Citadel, it told me that I would have to die to integrate with them somehow.. That my ideas, my wants and hopes, would be disseminated to an AI and I would have controlled the Reapers, maybe even the geth. I would have fixed everything for everyone. I said a thousand times I would make the biggest sacrifice I could to end this war but-"

"It wouldn't have been worth it. I couldn't lose you a second time.. especially not now," he wondered if the mournful subvocals in his voice translated to her through the communications.

"I know. It's why I didn't do it. You gave me an order, after all," she chuckled weakly," and there's so much I still wanted for myself. I died once without speaking my mind, without doing exactly what I wanted. I didn't want to die up there regretting wasted time, never knowing what it was like to be a mother, or a wife, or whatever turians call it.."

She rubbed her eyes with the back of her hands. Her face was glistening with tears, a state he had never seen her in before. Garrus felt an ache in his chest, and he took another step closer.

"I'll find a way to get us to you, and I'll give you those things. Hell, I might as well start looking for somewhere tropical while I'm at it," he tried to joke with her at the end, but he was still serious.

She knew it. She smiled, a brief break in her sobbing," I hear Florida's pretty nice this time of year, but the storms are god-awful."

"Florida?"

"A state in North America, on Earth. My parents used to take shore leave there.."

"If we're stuck out there for awhile, it couldn't hurt."

Shepard nodded as she lifted her head, looking at him for a long moment. Silence settled in, comfortable and easy. Garrus could not help but return the stare, taking in every injury, every obvious sign of what she had been through. Instinct drove him to a powerful motivation just at the sight of her. He could no longer wallow in his pre-emptive grief, his discomfort at the distance. He had to get to her as fast as he could. There was no Shepard without Vakarian, and the reverse was just the same. Part of him felt like the longer he stayed away, the higher her chances were of just crumbling.

"You aren't wearing your visor. Did it break?"

"No. I just left it in your cabin. I left it with yours."

She seemed to understand what that meant," Did you lay it over top like usual?"

"Of course. Looking at you, I'm glad you wore your N7 helmet.. Maybe it did save your life. You're always right."

"You think so?"

"Always," he reaffirmed.


	8. Chapter 6: Operations Begin

When their conversation was ended, Garrus felt himself renewed. Seeing Shepard, no matter her condition, woke him up. Though his engineering skills remained fixated on combat, he knew he had something to offer. He thought of all of the projects that could be done when they got back to the ship, crashed on the planet below. So much remained to be done.

Repairs to the hull were almost finished, but with EDI's untimely demise so many questions floated in the artificial air of the ship. They did not know what had to be done to fill the void left by the AI, many of the Normandy's systems once relying on her computing processes. Consoles on the bridge offered manual access to some of these, but so few people could manage the cyberwarfare suites.

Perhaps a new VI could be constructed to fill the role, but he had no skill there. He waited with his family for the return of the shuttle that promised to take them back to the surface, looking at the galaxy map before him with an intent focus. The Sol System was not that far away. Enough fuel, and maybe they could manage the trip on the Normandy. He desired a quick trip. The Mass Relays lacked the capacity to lead them where they needed to go, and they would not be working for a long time.

The Good Doctor had gone to retrieve further supplies and additional engineers to help with the effort, growing as restless himself as the crew aboard the Normandy. The ship did not deserve to be grounded, business still waiting to be done. They had to get back to Shepard. They all knew it, and the doctor would see it done.

He did not understand his motivations. Beyond knowing that the doctor talked of knowing her as a child, Garrus knew nothing of the doctor's background. He never said why he did these things, only that he did them. He claimed to have no sensational reason. The galaxy needed someone to coordinate rebuilding efforts, that much was certain, but the doctor focused so much on Shepard.

"She seemed nice," Solana said to break the silence.

Garrus had hardly said a word since he came to stand with his family. It was always his sister that felt called to fill moments like these with words. With her on one side and his father on the other, he knew they expected him to talk about Shepard.

"Most of the time, she's nice," Garrus responded, a brief and unclear statement.

"Hopefully, her injuries heal quickly."

"She's hurt, but that human that brought her in worked on her during Project Lazarus, the Cerberus operation that brought her back. Shepard will be alright."

He shifted uneasily. Though he felt better knowing she was safe, he did not feel like himself. Shepard's soft whimpers floated fresh in his mind. He missed her. He wanted her to feel better.

"Good," Aurelius said," I would like the chance to sit and speak with her someday. I don't know if it was her injuries, but she was nothing like the interviews on the news vids."

"Especially not that one that we watched with mom, when she snapped on that reporter. I had a laugh at that," Solana smiled to herself, casting her gaze to her brother," It was a few days before mom died, and the interview was live on Earth, when they were taking her to that 'trial'. Spirits, that reporter asked the wrong question."

"What did she ask?" Garrus looked at her.

"She asked about all of the aliens on her ship's crew records, real xenophobic like. Commander wouldn't have any of it and just opened up on her. It was all live, so there was no covering it up. Mom had a good time with it. It was one of her good days."

Aurelius made a sound of acknowledgement to confirm his daughter's words. He remembered that day very well, as it was in the last few days of his mate's life. He remembered her wishing Garrus had been there to see the interview. Felidra always seemed to approve of whatever the Commander did and all she led their son into, calling it chances for growth and proving exactly what Garrus was capable of doing. Looking back, his wife had been right about it.

Sure, he did not approve when he learned of Garrus' resignation from C-Sec, two months after the fact. He did not approve when he went into Spectre training, and he certainly did not approve when Garrus went missing for almost two years. He was not surprised when he heard his son found his way onto the Commander's ship again, but he had hoped the boy would have come home after his stunt on Omega, when his mother's illness was getting worse.

At least he made it for the funeral. At least he came home at all. Garrus more than proved the worth his time with Shepard had given him. He did well with the command given to him by primarch Fedorian. His son had grown into a good turian in all respects that mattered. He knew now why Shepard had such an impact on him. He knew now that the woman inspired him to his own greatness. He became a suitable mate for her.

He wondered if Felidra knew of Garrus and the Commander long before he did. She had always been closer to their son, as most boys were with their mothers. She never said a word to him about it or left any clues for him to follow. She kept her secrets well. She had to if they were to have any.

He remembered when it all started to click together for him. Parts of Garrus' story seemed to miss pieces, key things that he felt he should have known. In the greater picture, those moments did not matter. Small things were easy to look over in the epic elements of their story. The hours before the attack on the Collector base were empty, All personal moments made silent. Every day after he laid out the pieces for his father to put together, Garrus' distraction rang out in everything he did with his family. When he worked, nothing else exsted. He was thinking of the Commander without a doubt.

"Your mother liked what she saw of her. She always saw things I couldn't, especially in humans. I never saw past face value unless my gut told me there was something bad about them."

[Shuttle 147 has returned from Engineering vessel Hephaestus. Awaiting passengers before returning to the surface.] Tan'Keyell's voice called through the ship on loud speaker.

"There's our ride," Solana said as she started for the shuttle bay, moving ahead of her family.

Garrus followed behind, his mind once more swimming in the thoughts of how he could busy himself when they returned to the Normandy. He assumed that the quarian left for the Hephaestus to gather more volunteers to take care of the ship, help her get in the air. Concern still existed about how they would reach the Sol system. Not one member of the crew was willing to wait for the Mass Relays.

When they arrived in the shuttle bay, they found their ride full of unfamiliar faces, only one of them familiar at all. The back of the Doctor's helmet shined in the artificial light as he spoke with Tan'Keyell. Two more quarians were aboard, a single salarian, and a human female. She carried herself in a way which reminded Garrus of Shepard, and the N7 tattoo on the woman's neck told him exactly why.

A voice behind him alerted him right away," Garrus! I almost didn't recognize you without seeing your visor wrapped around your head. What are you doing here?"

Jacob Taylor. His was a voice Garrus thought he would never hear again. The last time he saw him, they evacuated ex-Cerberus scientists from a tricky situation, and he thought he would remain with them. Maybe he did. The doctor seemed to keep many of the Illusive Man's former agents close.

"I could ask you the same thing, Jacob. When did you wind up here?" He turned to face the former Cerberus soldier, made note of his worried expression.

Jacob felt like he did just moments ago. He missed and worried for his woman. They were similar in that, light years away from those they cared about.

" Some of the Cerberus scientists we got out of that base wound up here, called in some favors from the Doc. Brynn asked me to go with them, so I did. They're pretty well protected without me. Doc has a lot of former C-Sec hard asses on the live ships keeping refugees in line, and order keeps itself on the engineering vessels. Thought I'd go down to the Normandy with this bunch and check in. How's Shepard?"

Garrus wondered how many times he would hear that question," Not good, but Miranda's got it taken care of. She brought her back from the dead, so she can keep her from going there again."

"We don't hear much on the other ships. Any information goes to Doc first. He runs a tight operation, most of the time."

Aurelius shifted in his stance as he looked to Jacob, making obvious note of the familiarity between him and his son," Who from C-Sec is out there?"

"A couple old school guys from the Presidium and Zakera wards. Mostly turians and no one I got familiar with. Garrus' old man, right? You might know some of them."

" I am anxious to see Tali'Zorah vas Normandy and help with her home ship," the female quarian aboard the shuttle spoke up, " it has been many years since I saw her last."

"I'll be glad to get aboard!" The N7 human barked out, as if calling for silence on all other ends," We'll get the beauty off the ground before the week is out. I built it after all."

"Put your Alliance attitude away, Ariadne. Your bullshit is showing," Jacob teased her as he squeezed into a seat.

"Lets not talk about bullshit, tough guy. Half your stories about joyriding with the Commander must be bullshit. Cerberus hired me to put that bird down there together. She's quick, but not that quick!"

"I can vouch for Jacob's stories, its all true," Garrus joined in.

Short blond hair whipped around as the female turned to look at him, " Yeah? Who the hell is this, now?"

"Garrus Vakarian, y'know, the turian who took a rocket to the face."

"I can see the last part. Goddamn," Ariadne started," Jacob is a chatty fuck. Heard a lot about you."

"There's a lot more to hear now," Garrus tried to remain friendly, but the engineer who relaxed in her seat was an unpersonable sort. She reminded him of Jack now that he heard her speak.

"I can imagine. Stick with Shepard at any point in her life, and you come out with stories to tell."

"You know her?" Solana chimed in as she took a seat for herself.

"I did, a long time ago. We were in the N7 program together. God, we were what? Twenty-five? She helped a lot of us out. When Cerberus started putting out the call for ship engineers, I couldn't refuse the schematics. Glad the old bird did her job for Shepard."

"How long were you with the Alliance?" Aurelius asked.

"Twelve years. I resigned and joined Cerberus when I got stonewalled about what happened to Shepard. I just wanted to help, give anything to honor her memory beyond carrying her empty casket," she calmed a little as she spoke of Shepard," I didn't know what was going on with Cerberus, but the sight of a ship so like the Normandy set me straight."

Garrus and his father remained standing in the shuttle as silence settled in, no one wishing to speak further. The Kodiak shuttle was always cramped, and this model was no exception to the rule. Keeping the two bulky, male turians out of the seats left room for the Doctor took a seat at the controls with the pilot, looking over his shoulder.

"I hope that's everyone, because we're on our way out. Tell your volunteers what you're planning for when we get down, Ariadne."

She nodded to the doctor as she straighted up in her seat,"Absolutely! The shuttle that left with us from the Hephaestus is carrying down some Reaper parts from Rannoch. We've done our research and retrofitted the energy output used to fuel their travel to optimize fuel consumption on our big bird in the sky by the Mass Relay. We're going to do the same damn thing to the Normandy, giving it the capacity to get the hell out of here and pick the Commander up. Easy stuff for you lot. Its not perfect but we'll make it work. You've got twenty minutes to say your hellos to friends down there before I drag you to the drive core by your suit tubes."

"Charming," The salarian commented.

"And you by your horns, hot stuff," Ariadne teased.

The Normandy would be an eventful place with so many colorful characters coming aboard. He hoped that time would go by quickly and the repairs with it. These people must have been experienced if the doctor specifically went for them. Perhaps they had some stake in it. The more work they put into it, the faster they could all get home.

* * *

The darkness drawn in by the sedatives swimming in her blood reminded Shepard of how tired she was. The war against the Reapers had delivered her to death, lead her to being revived, and into this medbay where she felt it all in her broken bones and her aching skin. The unending battles once sustained her. She could get out of the bed in the morning knowing there was work to be done. The time where the Commander could not leave her little space in Vancouver was similarly painful to now. She had no wounds then, but all she had were her thoughts. The medbay, veiled in the shadows of her sleep coming in, reminded her of being stuck there.

To her right, she saw the implants that Miranda planned to replace inside of her. She recognized the solid bar of white steel, a central blue light glowing as the piece that was on her spine. Shepard wondered what that did for her. She had no idea, but the few tools she did recognize would be put to work on her skin and bone weaves. Hopefully her body's upgrades could restart without full replacement, or she would know nothing but this medbay for weeks.

Her talk with Garrus relaxed her for the rest of the day until she came to lay down for her first surgery. Shepard rested easy knowing everyone was safe and that her choice would eventually lead her to what she was looking forward too through the whole war. She could not admit it, especially toward the end. All she wanted was to be a mother. She would do it active duty like her mother before her if she had to, and there was no safer ship than the Normandy if that's how the hand was dealt. She rationalized such desires as her biological clock ticking down.

One day of consciousness with constant aching everywhere and her eyes seeing the synthetic weave under her skin void of glow in the places it showed, Alice Shepard started to wish it was just Project Lazarus all over again. At least then, she was unconscious for the whole damn thing. The sounds of activity outside made her curse the various gods of each species on deck. They went about preparations for going to the surface and helping the wounded. She heard the telltale cry of the baby turian she saw earlier in the day, still unhappy. Her maternal instincts built a knot in her chest before relaxing away, put down by her sedatives.

* * *

She pressed the side of her head to the scarred side of his face, humming quietly as they sat upon the couch in her cabin, relaxing on their way to the Migrant Fleet. When she got off of the Normandy during a visit to the Citadel and met him on the docking bay, she had not been prepared for his shooting contest, or the question that he had for her. She always thought herself a one turian woman, but establishing it as a fact made her feel so much better.

Her hand rested on his knee as they sat in silence, simply enjoying each other's company. She sat on her calves to even be able to touch her head to the side of his face, a fact which often made her feel small. Not today, she told herself. His height advantage lost its hold on her mind. Shepard merely relaxed with him, enjoying the little things they had to share during the war.

"You should start staying up here with me, Garrus."

"Your bed is a lot more comfortable than where I sleep," He said, laughing.

"Mm, and you being in my bed with me makes it more comfortable."

"I can't imagine why."

She smirked softly at his words, ever aware of the sarcasm underlining his words. She only held herself closer to her turian lover, thinking in moments like these about how pissed off her father would be. It never upset her to know Alan Shepard would have stared her lover down with disapproval. She knew she had the same waiting for her whenever she met Garrus' father. He must hate the human woman who convinced his son to try for Spectre training, quit C-Sec, and go gallivanting around the galaxy dispensing justice, no holds barred.

She imagined his father would be proud of him now, direct advisor to the primarch, gunnery officer on the vessel leading the fight against the Reapers, and the second best shot in the galaxy. He did not need to know about the human lover just yet.

"Where you are is home to me, and I sleep better when you stay," her voice was soft.

"Are you having trouble sleeping?" He reached with one hand to tilt her face upward.

Concern replaced sarcasm, and he looked down at her with questioning eyes. He conveyed so much through his voice and the little cues she could see in the way his eyes moved behind those dark eyelids. She had learned him this way, his turian face hardly as expressive as a human's. Sometimes, they did not even need to speak. The look in his eye and undertones to sounds he made expressed to her what her body language told him. She began to realize there was not much difference in turian subvocals compared to some human physical signals during the time she worked with Cerberus.

"Yes. I've been having a lot of bad dreams lately."

"Then I can do that. I'll be right next to you every chance I get, Alice."

She lifted herself from sitting on her calves to press a kiss to his cheek," My hero."

"I do try," he held onto her a little tighter for emphasis.

Shepard let out a soft sigh, content to be near him. She could stay with him like that forever, the worries of the galaxy left beyond her door. Nights like these helped her to keep it all together, even when they were few and far between. Garrus' long chats with the primarch about turian strategies kept him as busy as her own work with the Alliance. She was proud of her friends and especially of Garrus. Leadership suited him as much as he tried to deny it in the past.

"We're getting close. Its almost over," she moved to straddle him, eager for the enhanced closeness.

He rumbled against her as a soft purr came up in his throat. He pressed his forehead to her own, and she felt his talons trailing against her back, as if looking for the right places to tear her fatigues. She knew where this would end by the end of the night, her own movements not so innocent.

"I'm glad you family got out of Palaven, by the way."

"I don't know where they are going, but as long as they are out of the path of the Reapers, I don't care."

"My mother is helping organize efforts for the Crucible, so she's safe... We are lucky people, aren't we? Our families are safe, and we get to be together through all of this," Shepard sighed.

"Nothing better to do when the galaxy is going to hell," he trilled to her.

"In between the battles and the long days in the war room, I'd have to agree. We're on forced shore leave tomorrow, so we'll get some legitimate rest. You should stay with me in this little apartment I'm being told to go to."

"I'll meet you after I finish some business of my own."

She let out a soft hum in response, resting her face in the space between his neck and the ridge of his cowl. Relaxation was coming easy that night, pre-contact human music coming from her sound system. She kept her father's old library of music always open to her, and the tribal sorts of music he saved helped her find calm. Garrus no longer minded the sounds of the drums.

"I can't wait for a serious shore leave."


	9. Chapter 7: Edi's Answers

**With final papers approaching deadlines in the school side of things, I thought I would crank out another quick update to make up for the time that'll be lost. Thank you for your alerts and favorites, but I like reviews too! Don't be shy ;P**

* * *

_"Don't argue, Garrus."_

_Garrus' weight bore down on Liara's shoulder as he used her for support. He was covered in ash and parts of his suit were burned, but he did not seem to care. His eyes were fixated in front of him. Liara stared too._

_People were dying everywhere. The skies roared with battles unknown. All around them, soldiers ran to the beam, but there was this moment happening in front of her, this deeply personal thing she should not be watching. She should not be a part of this._

_"We're in this til the end," she heard his flanging voice close to her head, but she did not look at him._

_All she saw was Shepard's softening expression, liquid pricking at her eyes. Her hair was darkened by the same ash and dust that covered them all. She began to move toward them, her eyes seeing only the turian that Liara did her best to support._

_She felt odd, stuck in this moment with them. She knew their vision narrowed on each other and everything else was forgotten. The Reaper in the background was a silent buzz in their ears. For this moment, the threat did not exist. They had to have this._

_Shepard could not turn back just yet, and she took a few steps forward, reaching out for him. Her hand found his scarred mandible, and his free hand found hers. Her lip quivered, and she spoke again._

_"Garrus, no matter what happens.. I love you. I always will."_

_She lingered like the smell of smoke in the air. Liara knew that Garrus was grasping at strings, trying to find anything he could say. He was never any good with words, especially not like this. It showed in him by how stiff he grew as he leaned on her for support. He could not believe this was happening._

_Really, none of them could._

_"Shepard I... Love you too."_

_Liara wondered which of them would break first, and Shepard took the medal. She pulled her hand away and started to back down the ramp, waving them off. She watched them leave, no matter the danger. Garrus struggled against Liara when she tried to turn him away, to take him further into the Normandy. He wanted to see her for as long as he could._

_They saw her turn and start running, like a woman possessed with purpose._

_"Thats... It, Liara."_

_"No its not, Garrus. She'll make it. She has something to fight for."_

_Silently, the crew of the Normandy envied them and Joker and Edi. They had loved ones to fight for, to fight beside. Liara was among those who watched them in battle and wondered how such a thing could ever be broken. She talked about it in her time capsule, when neither of them were around to hear it. She imagined envy tinged her voice as she recorded her thoughts._

_And then they heard the Reaper's beam power up again, tearing a path through the earth. She had never been knocked to the ground so fast as when Garrus turned with all of his strength, disregarding her as he tried to find sight of the red dot they knew as Shepard. Her eyes locked on his back as he stumbled forward, trying his best to the Normandy's docking bay closing, he did not have much hope._

_"Alice!"_

_The door closed on him, and as she stood, she watched him go about slamming his fists against it in protest. No one moved to stop him. She could not bring herself to be the one to rest a hand on his shoulder and tell him what's done is done. They could not go back. Shepard had to do this alone._

_No one made a sound. All that could be heard in the cargo bay was Garrus' failing attempts at beating down the door and the deep, flanging and mournful sounds that tore out of his throat._

* * *

She woke with a start, nap stolen between download times. Liara locked herself up in her quarters with little thought once Garrus and his family left for the doctor's vessel. She busied herself to bury concerns about Shepard in some of the final files scavenged from Edi's processors. They were Cerberus files Edi data mined from Cronos station as a background process when she had joined Garrus and Shepard in their siege. She hid them from Shepard, and Liara would learn why. With the Crucible successful, her former occupation of empty time lost its appeal. She started with old Dossiers. Their worth later on would be proven when she rebuilt her contacts.

Edi had attached her own reminder to the files. A voice Liara knew she would never hear again spoke of her reasons for hiding the data.

"This personnel file contains data about Project Lazarus that may have interested the Commander, but in order to match my protocol based upon crew consensus over family matters and personal secrets, I have restricted these files to my own processes. Jeff tells me such actions can begin 'soap operas' as well as stop them."

The Dossier Edi kept to herself was labeled 'The Doctor', and it contained information Liara desperately wanted. The personnel file was massive in scope, documenting more than twenty years of service to Cerberus. The list of projects and operations attached to the name seemed to go on forever. Her finger stopped on the keyboard when the man's picture and personal history came up.

A three pronged scar tore across the right side of his aged face, and many traits she was familiar with stood out in his visage. Blue eyes. Thin face. Aquiline features. Shepard. He could not have been more than fourty years old in the picture attached to the file, but the texture made it clear to her that this was an old image. The most recent picture featured him in a quarian helmet.

She knew who this was.

* * *

_The Doctor RESIGNED_

_Dr. Alan Shepard, MD._

_Service years: 2163 to 2185_

_Personal and biometric ID destroyed following his disappearance from the Alliance Vessel, Vendetta. Cerberus maintains this level of secrecy on his behalf, per the Illusive Man's request. False IDs include: Liam Nelson, James O'Neill, Cain Hunt, and later, The Good Doctor._

_Living relatives include Captain Hannah Shepard, wife, and Commander Alice Shepard, daughter._

_Last Updated March 1, 2185_

_Notable Projects:_

_Project Lazarus (2183-2185) - Provided medical support in reviving his daughter, Commander Alice Shepard. Operative Lawson benefited greatly from his input. Reccomended engineers to build the SR-2 and put forward Dossiers recommended by Hope Lilium for advanced acquisition. His suggestions included moving forward Archangel's Dossier on the grounds of ' a good feeling' and Subject Zero based upon the belief she could grow._

_Operations Mercury, Hephaestus, and Athena (2163-2172) - Took part in the information exchange between agents in several different parts of the galaxy. His place on the SSV Vendetta made him a key double agent infiltrating Alliance Intelligence and exploiting exchanges of medical knowledge of other races on the Citadel. Discovered by C-Sec Officer Aurelius Vakarian in 2164, but was not arrested. This served as a learning experience. Alan became a more reliable agent following his brief encounter. Disappeared from the Vendetta to follow leads._

_Project Medusa (2167) - Medical project undertaken by the Doctor to enhance poisonous measures against the other species in the galaxy. Universal nervous system disruptive compound created for levo-based life forms. Caused violent seizures in Salarians and asari. Krogan less receptive, suffering only loss of awareness. Could be used in humans as well. Expected results similar to salarian and asari._

_Operation Eris (2175) - Inflitrated the quarian migrant fleet. Sent back valuable information about the migrant agriculture maintained on the live ships and quarian biology. This is where the identity of The Good Doctor emerged. Disappeared on the fleet for a year. Phycological profile taken upon return indicated profound change. Quarian helmet in his possession once belonged to Admiral Sai'Korris vas Neema, deceased three months before reappearance of the Doctor. Counselor could not get him to speak about his time with the Admiral. Early reports mention that the Civilian Fleet's Admiral was essential in Alan's work. Korris succeeded by his son._

_Project Apollo (2176) - Doctor Shepard began his work on Palaven with several turian doctors to increase medigel effectiveness for both races, reducing the amount of difference in medical supplies, in effect purifying the compound of levo and dextro proteins. Fed this information to Cerberus unnoticed. Maintained identity of the Good Doctor._

_Changes of note:_

_Profile taken in 2175 indicates a serious decrease in the Doctor's xenophobia._

_Established his own ship with a diverse crew upon return. Crew logs classified to the Omen._

_Reported back with a quarian exile, Azae'Lai Vas Neema. Returned from Palaven with Doctor Crassia Vakarian._

* * *

Liara leaned back in her chair, mouth open wide in disbelief. He hid his name and his face to remain separated from his child. She tried to understand before allowing her mind to run wild, trying to follow Shepard's thought process about Benezia. Was he protecting his child from some of these dark things? Did he leave her at barely adolescent to keep his family free? Was any of it really necessary?

She tried not to judge him as she sat alone in her office, staring at the personnel file. Surveillance footage waited to be turned on from the other screens, but she could not yet bring herself to watch. She tried to think of the secretive man in the ships orbiting the planet as this Cerberus operative, responsible for the deaths of so many at the hands of his poison, turning information given freely into a weapon.

But were they so different? Did she not take on the identity of Shadow Broker, her close friends knowing who she truly is and all those that worked for her knowing only the false? She helped destroy entire races of synthetic life. The Crucible saved what she loved. Did he see his work for Cerberus accomplishing the same goal? He sacrificed his family life for it.

He missed out on so much of Shepard's young life. He seemed to involve himself in her more recent years from the background, governing every aspect of her rebirth in some small way. Alan Shepard reduced himself to that faceless,nameless man he so often referred to himself as. He maintained it for nearly twenty years, taking on a codename more than halfway into his time separate from his real identity. Somewhere on the quarian fleet, he found reason to change.

The severity of his chosen projects dropped off upon his return. No more poison produced at his hand. His work threatened less lives, and the frequency of his appearance with Cerberus lessened. It appeared that his work on Project Lazarus was his final work for the Illusive Man, and it was this project were most of the surveillance footage came from. Liara started one segment of the footage.

The top down view provided her with a clear picture of the Illusive Man's central chamber. The projection of the Good Doctor presented him as he was now, mask and all.

_"She is experiencing neurological activity because of you, Alan,"_ The Illusive Man's voice introduced the first segment of footage.

"_Hardly. Miranda does impressive work. The compound we created in collaboration is what revived her at the cellular level. The rest is up to her alone."_ The Good Doctor shifted in his virtual projection.

_"Miranda has no investment in the project. It is why I called you in. You have looked at the Dossiers?"_

_"Of course."_ So matter-of-fact._ " I have a good feeling about Archangel. Call it a gut feeling, but I believe he will be important."_

_"The Dossiers provide her with a number of capable associates, all with sympathetic faces. What beyond your gut feeling makes you believe in this one in particular?"_

The doctor rested his hand on his mouth, thinking before he spoke,_" I'll go to Omega, do some digging, but I cannot stress enough, he probably needs her. From what my sources are telling me, he's losing footing fast on that damnable asteroid."_

Static. And then nothing.

This confirmed nothing that Liara did not already know. She searched for anything from an earlier time. Footage of the Good Doctor without his mask, perhaps doing his work. She came across another file from Project Lazarus. Through the pixelated forms of data on forced decay, she could see him standing at Shepard's bedside. Silence. He was alone with her, and he did not speak a word.

"_You're an ocean of a girl, sweetheart. I know you'll surround this galaxy in your blackening tide because you know what they are afraid to admit to themselves. The coming storm is going to be a crazy ride,"_ He leaned down and pressed a kiss to her forehead and remained for a long while, simply staring down at her.

He had been right about that much. Even though she was clinically dead at that point in the project, she knew about the Reapers. He seemed entirely confident she would wake. He believed in her.

It all made sense now. He sent people through the Relay to take care of her, to keep her alive, because Alice Shepard was his daughter. He stopped for the Normandy because it was her ship, and they were her crew. The Doctor did none of this for him or for anyone aboard any of his vessels. He did this for his child who thought him dead.

He took it a step farther than Benezia ever did. She hid things from Liara, lied about a lot, but she never faked her death. She never disappeared outright. The end of their relationship came at Liara's own behest. She had the choice to quit speaking with her mother. Shepard never had that choice with her father. And yet, like Benezia had done for her, Alan Shepard found ways to take care of his daughter.

Conversations with the Illusive Man started to sputter out of the surveillance footage, disagreements of all kinds. She weaved in and out of it all, listening for key moments.

_"You cannot just walk out like this, Alan! After all these years, everything we worked for! Think of the consequences!"_

_"I have, my friend. It is time for me to focus on my own endeavors."_

_"You cannot serve humanity any better than you did with Cerberus! This is where you belong."_

_"No. Not anymore. Things have changed. Cerberus is the sword, and I will build the shield."_

She shook her head as their voices assaulted her ears, filling her with more questions than answers. Liara shut down the processes, hiding away this information for a better time.

_Garrus is back. Doc brought some more help. Its going to get crowded in here, folks._

Joker's voice echoed over the intercom, and the asari looked to her door. She contemplated finding Shepard's lover, revealing this to him. Would it really matter? No, not at all. At the very least, she could find out how Shepard was doing.

Liara stepped through her door to find Tali, walking through the mess hall. The quarian stopped and looked at her, a friendly tilt of her head indicating she would ride the elevator up to the airlock with her. They were silent as their paths became one and they moved toward their destination, until Liara remembered something...

"Tali, have you ever heard of a quarian named Azae'Lai vas Neema?"

"Azae'Lai? Yes! I remember her exile.. I was still young," she spoke with something bordering on nostalgia, "She was a good woman. I didn't understand why she let it happen until everything with my father.."

Liara tapped her chin in thought, "What happened to her?"

"They blamed Zaal'Korris' father's death on her. She served on his ship, took him to Rannoch when he was sick. She had help from a human visitor, and her captain refused to represent her. The only one who thought to ask her how she got to Rannoch was my father, but she didn't answer. She kept her mouth shut, and when they exiled her, she left with the human."

Tali looked at the ground as the elevator opened, letting them out to the CIC.

"Was it a bad thing to let him die under his homeworld's skies?"

"No! Or, it shouldn't have been. A lot of us tried before we won it back. When she was gone, they started telling horror stories about her. Azae'Lai became a bed time story they told to make us afraid. They said the human corrupted her."

"Did she love him?" Liara asked.

"I don't know," Tali began as they stepped out of the airlock," But I would like to think... yes."

* * *

Garrus exited the shuttle to several curious faces waiting, staring at him as the engineers flooded out all around him, his family going with them. The doctor stood back, far behind Garrus, and the turian stood his ground as he looked to his who knew him paid Jacob very brief greetings, at once turning their attention back to their gunnery chief and unofficial CO. All but Joker had came out to meet them, their minds in the same place, asking the same question.

Tali gave it voice," How is she, Garrus?"

"Alive. Hurt badly, but alive," He said as briefly as possible," Miranda's with her. She'll be alright."

"I worried after what happened to Edi," Tali said with a nervous wringing of her fingers," Cerberus made Shepard bio-synthetic. I...I was afraid the pulse did the same thing to her."

"Good to know Lola's gonna make it," James chimed in, " We'll get the Normandy in the air and we'll get there. She ain't gonna sit still for long."

Garrus barely heard anyone else's comments, locking eyes with Liara. He noticed her gaze go past him, resting on the Doctor. The look on her face spoke of criticism, and he wondered if the man behind him noticed. Garrus took his steps out of the shuttle, intent on finding the N7 Engineer who had taken off without a word. To his right, Tali reunited with the quarians who had come down with him. They appeared to be friends, but he had only one focus.

He would make it to Earth one way or another.


	10. Chapter 8: The Little Things

**_With finals in full swing right now, this update was slow to come. It is a bit shorter than usually, but with one more paper and one more test left to go, I will hopefully spend more time on these things in the summer. Please enjoy, and please share any thoughts you have. I love reviews!  
_**

**_Note: I know exactly jack-shit about medicine. Most of the recovery and surgery talk in the next few chapters will be made up on the fly. Space magic._**

* * *

She woke with less pain in her limbs, the gentle hum of activity outside the medbay a reminder to her that she was still alive. Shepard opened her eyes after a blissful moment of listening, and she found herself joined by Crassia and the little turian child she saw through the windows not long ago. He was a stark contrast to the woman who held him, red against silver. He slept in her arms, the first time Shepard ever heard him silent. Sleep must have been rare for him, or maybe turian children did not sleep as much as human babies. Her doctor's watchful eyes left the child in her arms and focused upon the Commander.

"Morning. You sure did sleep for awhile. They kept you knocked out for two days," Crassia said to her after a tentative moment, as if watching the Commander to gauge her wakeful state.

"Morning.. who's that with you?" Shepard spoke.

She lifted herself slowly into a sitting position, letting out a grunt as her arms strained to lift her with no aid from her legs pushing her upward. She reached behind herself and moved her pillows about, trying to get them in position. A small adjustment of the pillows behind her gave her a place to rest, and she settled down gladly. Shepard swore she felt something crack in her back, like a pocket of stiffness dissipating. It was beginning to seem more and more likely that she really had been in that bad for that long.

"He has a lot of nicknames, no real name that stuck with him. His mother died giving birth to him, and his father died on Tuchanka, and we don't know of any extended family. Its bad practice in our culture to name a child not in our family," Crassia looked to Shepard, speaking after a long moment," Would you like to hold him?"

Shepard nodded in response to the question as Crassia stood, slowly delivering the sleeping turian into her arms. He rolled with little coaxing from either woman, and she found that he fit into her arms much like a human child. She cradled the back of his head with one hand, ever mindful of his short fringe. His feet and hands were so small, talons hardly pointed at all. His little head pressed right up to her chest, apparently a universal resting place for a child in the arms of a human. He weighed more than a human child of a few months, but it was not an unpleasant weight.

She knew the welling emotion of adoration in her chest may well be misplaced, but the gentle weight of the child was enough to remind her she had done something good to keep little lives like his safe. Shepard focused on his face, making a mental note of the much lighter skin of his neck beyond his dark red facial plates. His quivering mandibles, moved by sleepy breathes, made her smile. She could not, or would not, look away from him.

"He's pretty cute. Can't imagine why no one wanted to take him in."

"Taking care of any baby is heavy work, and we all have a lot on our plates. I think most people were scared to take on that kind of attachment."

"He reminds me of Nihlus," Shepard said.

"The Council Spectre who recommended you, right?"

"Yeah," She confirmed," I think its all his coloring, though. Is it a common thing among turians?"

"Lighter brown plates are the most common and genetically dominant, like brown hair is for humans. I guess you could say silver plates are like blond hair, and the little one's plates like your hair. Some of it is influenced by where their ancestors are from too. Palaven has a pretty stable temperature, but radiation levels in certain places definitely had an impact on the coloring."

Crassia's eyes never left the Commander. The human relaxed as she held the child in her arms. This had been a good idea. If she learned anything of the Commander from Garrus' stories, it was that she coped with things much better when people depended on her.

"What color are his eyes?" She asked.

"Blue, actually." Oh, that was the answer she was hoping for.

"You're going to be a lady killer," Shepard laughed to herself as she squeezed the little one tighter to her chest.

"How are you feeling this morning, Commander? Better?"

"My bones hurt less, and I don't have a headache. Its a start for recovery," she turned her gaze up to Crassia," I can't wait til I can get up on my own. Being bedridden is embarrassing."

"Then I'll make the recommendation we handle the breaks in your legs next. There will be therapy to get your body used to it, but you'll be able to get out of bed alone,' Crassia said.

"When will I be going under again? What did they get done?"

"We're going to give you two days before we do anything else, to make sure the spinal implant took to you correctly. Your upper body's skin and bone weaves are active again, so by tomorrow we should be able to remove the cast around your chest for good. There's going to be a lot of observation and therapy after your next surgery, but with people going to the surface, we should get you a real room soon."

"I'd like to sleep in a real bed."

"Can't imagine that's very comfortable. Its been a long time since I've been stuck in one of those," Crassia sounded sympathetic.

Shepard imagined no one liked being stuck in a medbay for an extended amount of time. If she had only taken a rocket to the chest, seeing as her face is not nearly as durable as a certain turian's, she might have walked out after a day. The damage from the Reaper beam and the explosion from the Catalyst definitely put her out of commission for awhile.

"You know... There aren't many people left on this ship, if you'd like to take him every once and awhile for someone to keep you company. Turian children aren't so difficult to take care of early on, and their noises are pretty easy to interpret. I can teach you how to take care of him, and I can bring his supplies in, leave them in reach for you."

"Does that mean I get to name him?" Shepard hesitated.

"Only if you want to, and if you two get along well enough, he's going to need a permanent home."

Well, shit. She was basically offering the kid up to be adopted. Shepard made the mental note to remember that. Perhaps she would fall in love with the little child in her arms. Part of her already adored him.

"Nihlus, then. That's what I'll call him."

"It seems like a good, honorable name," Crassia smiled.

Shepard believed the older turian knew exactly what she was doing with the smile the came up on her face. The delighted sub vocals underlying her voice betrayed her.

"He sleeps like a rock," Shepard smiled as she turned her gaze down to the baby," How long has he been asleep?"

"A few hours. He'll wake up again soon. They never sleep but three or four hours at a time."

Shepard decided she could live with that, a little friend to stay up with her when she had nothing more to do than stare at the wall. She could make the time for naps with him. All of the rest she could get would be beneficial, and she knew herself well enough not to lie about why she welcomed the child so easily. She would not be alone in there anymore, and he needed someone, anyone to take him.

She would decide if this would be a permanent arrangement at a later date, but her heart was already making those preparations.

* * *

As expected, time on the Normandy sped up with the inclusion of the Doctor's engineers. Each day that went by, they managed to make a little more progress. The human known as Ariadne comandeered Jack's old spot beneath the main level of the engineering deck, and rarely did she leave it. Her loud and boisterous nature Garrus had been exposed to on the shuttle quieted the moment she set herself to work, her headset blaring music into her ears and projected blue prints in front of her right eye. She slept only five hours each night, and she took no breaks. The quarian female that had accompanied her delivered rations and water to keep her going. Ariadne never stopped working. It seemed all the women on the ship were devoting themselves to some kind of work.

Liara locked herself away after a day of attempting to help where she could, turning to what information she still had available. She never once talked about what she was doing when Garrus saw her, but he began to feel a little concerned for what she buried herself in. Tali disappeared into the AI core every morning, doing only the spirits knew what. He assumed it had something to do with Edi, but he never asked. Traynor began fiddling with the communications networks in her off time, trying to extend the reach of the Normandy to other systems. So far, she had no luck. Only the ships above the planet would respond when contacted. Of the three normal crewmembers who dove into work, she was the only one who told Garrus was she was up to. She wanted to be able to reach the medical ship Shepard was on so they could all say hello.

Spirits knew that they needed the encouraging sight of their Commander.

Ariadne invited Garrus to work with her on the third day, and for the first few hours, they spent their time welding the rest of the pieces to her machinations. It was not until the noise of their omni-tools was silenced that she began to speak.

"Ya know, six years ago, if someone would have told me that Shepard would be in a devoted relationship to a turian, I would have believed them," Ariadne laughed.

"I don't think she would have believed it," Garrus responded.

"Probably not. Even way back when, I didn't think there was a human in the galaxy that could handle her for more than a month or two. I told her that every time we went out. She's fucking crazy, as far as human women go. Nobody gets in her way. Never did, even before she was N7. Gotta be a helluva man to not fall over dead from a heart attack with the shit she does."

"Are you insinuating I can handle her?"

Ariadne laughed," Shit yeah I am. Whenever we were in contact with each other, she talked about you, which was new. She only ever mentioned Alenko once, and that was when she was getting pissed off at him. That's what girls do, talk about their men sometimes. Even girls like us."

"Tell me more about the two of you, it seems like you were really good friends," Garrus asked.

The engineer obliged without a second thought," We were stationed on the same ship for awhile when we were N6 rank, before Akuze. She led a ground team with me, a Vanguard N6 named Diana Quinn, and an N5 Soldier named Aliana Howell. We ran together for awhile before we all got separated to different ships. We got together on long shore leaves, and we have a huge bash when we all got to N7. We got together again when she got assigned to the Normandy, and again after that shit on the Citadel. We were all at the funeral. Haven't had the chance to all get together since."

"She never talks about her early career."

"No reason to other than all of the friends we made together. We bunked most of the time when we were stationed on the Aries. Our missions were pretty routine," Ariadne said as she cracked open her water bottle.

"I guess most of us had pretty uneventful early careers in comparison to the last few years," Garrus relaxed in his seat.

"Damn right. Even me. Can't say it would have been as eventful without the Doc."

"Do you even know who he is? Do any of you?" Garrus looked at her.

"I do. There's three other people in the fleet who know him, and two in the Sol system. If he decides he can trust you, he reveals who he is." Ariadne became a little standoffish, uncertain of where he was taking the conversation.

"I just don't understand how you all feel safe under his command, not knowing who he is."

"Did you -really- know who the Commander before the two of you became intimate? Is the name really that important?" Ariadne asked him," I mean, his actions spoke for him before I ever knew him. 'The Good Doctor's is as much his name as what he was born with. Besides, weren't you -Archangel-? Didn't your men trust you without knowing your real name?" Ariadne was willing to play this game. She shot right back.

"Most of them knew."

"Dangerous, don't you think? He has so many people to take care of that if he reveals his name, he's in a lot of danger. His family would be in dang-"

"He has a family?"

"A daughter, and a wife he never divorced," she revealed.

"So he hides his name to protect them?" Garrus continued to question.

"Hell if I know. He does a damn good job of protecting the people he's worked with before now. He's a good man, Vakarian. Better than most I've ever met, and the best I've ever seen come out of Cerberus."

"Cerberus?"

"Yeah. Its pretty common knowledge he ran with them for awhile," Ariadne paused, turning off the blueprints in front of her eye," Its where he got me and a lot of the scientists on the research vessels. Some of them are Dr. Brynn Cole's people, but most of them started running even before her. He kept a wide net for people that wanted out and even for those that weren't human. The C-Sec guys on the liveships came for their families. The Salarian engineers came because they knew that the Dalatrass made no friends at Shepard's war summit, and war waits for no politics."

Garrus snorted slightly at that," They would have made better use of themselves at the Crucible."

"Not necessarily. They're with us now and they're in a position to help with rebuilding efforts. Some of the people who worked on the Crucible are going to have a much harder time getting out of that sector to do the same. Displacing all of the galaxy's brilliant minds to one place makes for a shitty rebuilding effort everywhere else if you ask me." She finished her long winded statement with a drink from her water, stopping for a brief break from their work," Not all of the ships are equipped with stealth systems, but they are a lot safer than some of the colonies. We were able to move and get out at the first sign of Reaper activity, so he saved a lot of lives."

Ariadne turned her gaze to their handy work, inspecting the seams of the welding where it attached her augmented Reaper device to the drive core. Occasionally, she hummed as a sign of approval. It seemed that whatever work they had done was sufficient for her to handle without a whisper of disapproval or an unkind joke made in his direction.

"Well, at least you're here now," Garrus said after a lengthy silence.

"I'm just glad I can help you lot get back to Shepard. She'll need you, you know? She's strong as hell when she's in a fight, but she can use all the support she can get anywhere else. Your aunt good with her patients?"

"Yeah. She came home to help my mother when she hit the worst of her disease. We pulled her out of the Salarians' care so she could die at home. Its what she wanted. My aunt never left. Neither did my dad," a mournful subvocal left his throat. The human seemed to pick up on it.

"Must have been damn hard to handle with the Reapers on their way, to lose your mother like that. My parents are long gone... Shepard's dad just disappeared on her when she was little, and her mother's military still. In that department, she had it fairly easy during the war," Ariadne turned the blueprints on her visor on once again, indicating a nearing end to their conversation.

"I know she'll take good care of Alice, and that's what matters. I've coped with my mother's death already."

Ariadne made a noncommittal noise of acknowledgement. Their conversation was declared ended, and the work returned to. Not another word was spoken between them after that as their worked continued for two more hours. The welding and wiring finished, all that remained was configuring it for use on the Normandy. She still promised that they would be out of the system by the end of the week. She had three days with all of the help that came with her engineers to fulfill her promise. No member of the crew had the patience left to wait.


End file.
